


Disconnect

by orphan_account



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Bullying, Canon? I don't know her!, Fluff, HiyoIku Week 2020, Hurt/Comfort, I have mania I apologize!, M/M, Mental Health Issues, POV Multiple, Self Confidence Issues, Two idiot virgins find each other and are idiot virgins together!, hiyoiku week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-19 08:20:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 32,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22741540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Ikuya travels around North America with Natsuya and Nao, all three are influencers. He makes a pitstop in a smaller town. He meets Hiyori and soon enough they get connected... But disconnected from social media together. They try to learn things about each other and learn to grow and love themselves!
Relationships: Kirishima Ikuya/Tono Hiyori, Kirishima Natsuya/Serizawa Nao
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	1. Pit Stop

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Day 4 of HiyoIku Week 2020! I’ve been working so hard on this fic for several weeks. Please enjoy it, I’ve never worked so fucking hard for a fic ever!! This fic has time and POV skips, similar to my State Of Dreaming fic! Ikuya is basically an E-boy/girl who happens to run into Hiyori who doesn’t really have a big social media following but still loves being online. This fic deals with some heavy topics that include (So this is my CW/TW): Online bullying, self-esteem issues, eating disorder and depressive thoughts, there are also a few slurs. I also wanted to have a progression fic where you see the characters grow and become wiser and better… 
> 
> A small border key:  
> ✖⛧✖⛧✖ - Point of View switch!  
> ~•⛧♡⛧•~ - Time Change only, same POV as before!  
> ~✖⛧♡⛧✖~ - Both POV and Time Change!  
> Hope that helps!  
> I want to thank Mikey who helped edit chapters 1-10, his 2 tumblr accounts are sudden-sky & marutsuke-haru! He did SO much for no reason I have to give him a lil shoutout!

“Natsu-nii? Nao? Can we stop somewhere to get something sweet?” I say, peering over his seat in the car, Nao is driving us around America.

“No,” My brother’s tone is rather annoyed, but I ignore him and look at Nao with sad eyes.

“Nao? Please?” I lower my head a bit.

“Of course, gimme a second though, I wanna see if I can find a highly rated bakery or cafe.” Nao’s words fill me with joy. My small ‘younger brother like’ manipulation works on him with ease, but it never works on Natsu-nii, my actual older brother, though it used to when I was a small child.

We travel a lot, the three of us. Nao and my brother are actually engaged and I’m single and ready to die alone. Natsu-nii has a travel YouTube channel and Instagram and stuff; Nao and I feature on it sometimes, but he’s mostly the driver who takes us to restaurants and places with great food. He owns a food critic channel and blog as well. He’s pretty popular. Accidentally, of course, he started social media for fun but didn’t expect to gain popularity. He’s still very humble.

In terms of numbers, though… haha... which I care about a lot, but try not to get carried away. I know it can be detrimental, we’ve seen it in the media… oh, once this person reached 1 million followers they lost who they were and became someone super different and vindictive. I never want that to happen to me so I try to humble myself a bit.

Anyway, in terms of numbers, Natsuya’s channel is doing slightly better than Nao’s, but Nao’s Instagram is doing better than Natsuya’s. So they have slightly one-ups on each other. However, my Instagram actually towers over them on both platforms. I lowkey pride myself on this, and at first, Natsu-nii thought I bought followers. Idiot, that’s stupid; they’re bots, why would I do that?

90 percent of my content is selfies; my captions are relatable and my editing is rather good, at least I think so. I’ve practiced outside of Instagram, I’ve also had my account just as long as them.

I’m proud of both of them and we all kinda… help each other through social media. We all get sponsors and stuff too, this is how we make our living. Mine are usually make-up brands, fashion brands, and beauty related things… I get sent clothes and make-up to try as well and I’m tempted to make a YouTube channel but I’m too awkward when I appear on their channels. They encourage me to be in their stuff but I’d rather be in a picture and say my thoughts with typing captions and stuff.

Luckily, Nao has been giving me tips on improving my social skills and honestly, I’m thankful for him and see him like a mom if that makes sense? He spoils me a bit like if I want something he can usually get it for me. I tend to go to him, over my brother for many things.

Soon enough, Nao smoothly pulls into a parking spot and whips out his phone and starts tapping and scrolling, I peer over his shoulder to see what the options in this small town are.

We’ve been in America for almost a year and honestly don’t plan on leaving anytime soon. Both of them are engaged and could easily get married here. It was easy for all of us to get US Visas because we have family here, even Nao does… we’re fortunate. We still have so much to explore here. Sometimes, we even pop into Canada, and once, we stopped into Mexico for a week. North America is so big. Thank God Nao got his license here; it’s very different from Japan, obviously one main difference being the side of the road!

“Hm, this one right here looks nice and cozy, and it has a 4.8 star rating. The lowest is a 3 star, it’s probably our best bet,” Nao looks at me, ignoring Natsu-nii. He clearly doesn’t want desserts but knows I have Nao wrapped around my finger… of course, he was gonna stop for me.

“Sure, let’s go, you can review it too, right?” I unbuckled myself long ago so I just hop out and shut the door.

“It’s just down the road from here it looks like, c’mon Natsuya,” Nao says this while getting out of the car grabbing his things. Natsuya is still in the car and I can see him sigh, unbuckle himself and glares at me while he gets out.

“Sorry, for being such an inconvenience, Natsu-nii,” I say with large amounts of sarcasm.

“Shut it,” he ruffles my hair, “Let’s just go.”

We soon enough make our way to the bakery and cafe…


	2. Spill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will remind you each time of the borders, just in case!  
> ✖⛧✖⛧✖ - Point of View switch!  
> ~•⛧♡⛧•~ - Time Change only, same POV as before!  
> ~✖⛧♡⛧✖~ - Both POV and Time Change!

Hiyori is cleaning tables and counters in his bakery when he hears small little chimes as three men walk in. Glancing up he bows and heads over to the desk to take their orders.

“How may I help you?” Hiyori says this very sweetly. He speaks perfect English and though he cannot confirm that the people in front of him are Japanese or not, he greets them in English. 

Hiyori moved to America at a young age, so his English developed perfectly. Natsuya and Ikuya can speak English really well as well but for different reasons, they don’t speak it to certain people. Ikuya is shy about his ability, and Natsuya likes to hear Nao speak it to other people.

“Hello, we’re gonna look for a bit,” Nao states, perfect English as well, Hiyori nods and smiles.

Ikuya looks around and then to Hiyori, he notices his name tag labeled ‘Hiyori’... A girly name meaning weather? Hmm… Oh, He’s Japanese then?! Maybe he speaks the language? He’s probably lived here for a long time but maybe speaks Japanese? Ikuya’s mind wanders from one thought to the next.

“Psst, Ikuya, are you listening?” Nao whispers to him in Japanese, Ikuya jumps a bit, “What do you want?”

“Oh! Uh,” Ikuya begins to blush, he’s embarrassing himself in front of Hiyori, he looks at the board ahead of him and decides to just order in his native language to see if his theory of this Japanese-American is right, “I’ll have the pistachio cake and mocha latte coffee with sweetened almond milk instead of regular milk.”

Nao was kinda shocked Ikuya decided to just order in Japanese, he had noticed the name tag, but it doesn’t automatically mean he speaks Japanese. But Hiyori was punching the order into his register.

“Okay, what about you, sir?” He looks to Natsuya, who sighs.

“Just gimme a black coffee,” He says in Japanese as well.

Hiyori writes that down, rings up the total, and Nao hands him the cash with a smile.

Ikuya makes his way to sit in the side room where he can still see those two conversing with Hiyori, but he looks at only Hiyori. This is the first time he’s found someone who was Japanese since he’s been in the Americas, and he’s kinda cute he thinks.

Nao is discussing his work and probably asking for permission to make posts and critique everything. He does this out of the kindness of his heart, almost every place agrees.

They both make their way back to Ikuya…

✖⛧✖⛧✖

“He agreed to let me make some posts,” Nao says as he sets his backpack next to the chair in front of me, “I ordered several things to test, I hope this place won’t disappoint, he’s very kind.”

“Ikuya, you have to tell us what your stuff is like too,” Natsu-nii says.

I shrug and then nod my head, it’s whatever, “Fine I don’t wanna be filmed or anything.”

“That’s fine I’ll just say your input in the post, but be honest of course,” Nao glances to Hiyori who was getting things for us with a coworker who probably was on break when we ordered.

“Did you tell him your handle?” I ask.

“Of course? So he can see the criticism...”

We sit in silence for a small moment and then Hiyori brings the things out with a smile plastered on his face.

“Here you are, please enjoy and let me know if you need anything else, okay?” He looks at me and I look away. He’s actually really cute I can’t look at him, what if he finds me through Nao’s post? I’m nervous…

I take my drink and sip it, “It’s pretty good,” it’s really good… I’ll rephrase later though. Nao writes down his thoughts before posting them online anyway, we’ll discuss soon enough.

“I’m glad,” Nao started eating a pastry. His chewing and his face show pleasure… he likes that one.

“Natsu-nii, how’s your shitty coffee?” I ask.

“It’s good,” He laughs, probably at my hatred for black coffee. I let out a nose exhale.

Soon enough, my eyes wander to my left… I see Hiyori serving other customers. He’s tall, handsome, sweet, and he looks really smart… He’s basically perfect. I’m thirsty. I take another sip of my drink… It’s not quenched, I’m still thirsty; thirsty for him.

I crack jokes in my mind to forget that I’m single and lonely. All the time I crave physical touch, but I’m too shy to ask a guy out. I’m too shy to even talk to cute guys on social media. I just wanna be held; I wanna be loved and loved for who I am. Craving physical touch and not engaging is my specialty. Hiyori is probably straight anyway, and even if he likes guys, why would someone so handsome and smart fall for someone who has to wear make-up to feel pretty and who can’t even type the proper kanji?

I sigh and Nao looks up at me.

“What’s wrong?” He’s concerned and curious.

“I’m being miserable in my mind, leave me alone,” I pick up my phone and rest my head on my arms on the table.

“Why? You wanna talk about it?” Nao asks leaning forward as well.

“Hiyori’s really cute, but I’m too pathetic to ask him out or ask for his socials,” I say softly with a pout. Natsu-nii and Nao laugh, “What?” I ask.

“I knew you were into him when you stared at him for 3 minutes straight, you barely blinked and I tried talking to you,” Nao laughs more.

I blush and hide my face, “Shut up.”

“Just be like me, gain some confidence. Ikuya, you’re really interesting; you can get any guy you like I’m sure!” My brother says, he’s such a fucking idiot.

“I can’t just gain confidence when I have negative confidence,” I say into my sleeve.

“We can discuss this later, Ikuya, eat your cake,” Nao says this while rubbing my arm in support. I know he’ll talk to me about this sudden mini outburst of loneliness and despair… hopefully he helps me with my thoughts and confidence.

I peek my head back up and look at Hiyori once more. Soon enough, he looks at me and smiles. I blush profusely and hide my face again… He’s too cute.

“Ikuya, be honest with him and say something like, ‘Yo hottie, top or bottom?’” My brother says… I’m done with him, honestly. He knows my type, so when I see cute guys, he embarrasses me in front of them. Then he wonders why I have no confidence to even approach a cute guy.

I smack him really hard, causing him to spill the coffee over himself and the table. All three of us are horrified, and I look over to Hiyori who is already on his way over… great, fucking great. He saw me smack him, and he also saw that the coffee spill was the result of my petty and stupid outburst. God, what if he heard what my brother said?!

“I’m so sorry!” I apologize politely in Japanese as Hiyori leans over to help clean.

“No, no, it’s okay, don’t apologize!” He says, also in Japanese, and starts to set napkins down first. “Lemme get a cloth to get the stickiness out, wait here.” 

He turns around, and I watch as he leaves. He’s built really well it looks like. Actually… I’m curious what he’s like under that uniform… I’m being a thirsty mess again, oops.

He shuffles around behind the scenes and as more customers come in, he greets them before letting the other employees handle them.

He’s quick and stunning as he makes his way over as fast as he can. I act like I’m not watching him like a thirsty hawk from the side… but of course I am!

“Sorry,” I apologize again… I do feel bad, it seems it's getting busy and distracting him with cleaning an unnecessary mess that didn’t need to happen will only cause the business to get backed up… It looks like only three people are working right now… 

“Again, no need to apologize, accidents happen all the time!”

“But it didn’t have to happen, it was my fault,” I say, lowering my head in shame.

“Don’t worry about it, okay?” His voice is so sincere, I look up at him. He’s so… breathtaking!!

I smile awkwardly and bow my head.

He’s done making sure the table is no longer sticky, but he neglected the floor which some of the spill made its way down to.

“Oh, the floor! Oh, I’m sorry do you mind if I mop it a bit? I’d hate to get in your way, though.”

“It’s fine, who wants to put their feet where it’s sticky?” Natsu-nii insists. It’s the only right decision to make… clean the floor. My brother stands up, “I’ll just use the restroom while you clean, where is it?”

Hiyori points and gives him directions, Natsu-nii thanks him and heads over.

“Give me a second, again sorry for intruding in your bubble like this.”

Nao just shakes his head, “No, it’s fine,” He looks at him almost… sinisterly?

He knows that I don’t mind Hiyori next to me like this… Nao is probably gonna give this place such a high rating… Kinda rare but maybe even a perfect score… I sigh at the thought of this.

Soon enough, I realize I’ve neglected my cake and decide to take a bite… It’s delicious… I shake my head up and down and then look at Nao and he smiles at me.

Hiyori comes back without a mop, but with a bigger and new rag. His sleeves are now rolled up, I notice as he leans down, resting his hand on the corner of my chair… I’m blushing, and Nao is watching me melt with utter amusement… His smile is absolutely stupid. 

“There,” Hiyori actually spoke in English. He smiles at me once more, bows and then heads back to help with the plethora of customers.

I’m not just thirsty, I’m totally fucking dehydrated.

~✖⛧♡⛧✖~

My mind is really foggy. I’m excited and scared… It’s been a few hours since those three came into my bakery, I’m at home now… I got the username of the guy with glasses, and the cute guy, whose name is Ikuya. I got his username from the tall brunette. I don’t remember his name, but he also told me his username and phone number when he was coming back from the restroom, and while I was heading back to work after cleaning the spill on the floor.

His username is silly sounding, but I could see how it fits him, Ikuya was shy and distant. He seems kinda insecure maybe? The guy made me think, maybe Ikuya likes me, and he said ‘Oh, Ikuya would love for you to DM him’ and winked… I can only assume Ikuya thinks I’m attractive or something like that. It’s weird, I don’t have that much confidence either… but Ikuya… is really cute.

If he thinks I’m attractive, and I think he is attractive, I may as well shoot a message to him, right? Simple? Right? Wrong!

What do I say to him? Do I act cool? Do I compliment him? Follow and then like all of his posts first? Do I only like a few posts? What if that’s too much? When I DM him, do I sound casual or more proper? Should I type in Japanese or English? Probably Japanese… Though, while scrolling through his posts, most of them are in English? What do I do, I’m so lost!!

~✖⛧♡⛧✖~

“Hey, Nao, take my photo?” Ikuya hands me his phone.

I snap some photos and hand the phone back to Ikuya. Times like this, I’m happy he found an outlet and a hobby, but other times I worry about him. I see comments making fun of him sometimes. Whether it’s racist or homophobic comments, rude comments about his make-up skills or others flat out saying that boys shouldn’t wear make-up. Even jealous seeming comments asking how he can afford things. Natsuya and I stalk his comment sections all the time to report these, in fact, sometimes we steal Ikuya’s phone to delete the mean comments, just in case he hasn’t seen them yet, so it’s like they never happened. Actually, I hate to admit it but we also reply with our own hate to them as well. Retorting in a way to hurt the person who hurt Ikuya feels great but it's not productive.

Every so often, he sees them and comes to me and Natsuya, sometimes he’s calm about it, sometimes not. He’ll be in tears, he’ll cry about how nothing is fair and that he wishes people were nice, but unfortunately not everyone is nice.

A few times, Ikuya had thought about deleting everything. but Natsuya and I stopped him and convinced him that’s not the best route. People will be mean. People will be jealous or hateful.

Right now we are all Ikuya has… we’re kinda raising him even though he just became an adult. He’s still kinda childish, but I think that’s what’s endearing about him.

Ikuya does have a great fanbase though, many people will comment complimenting him, saying he’s pretty or inspiring, or something like that, but one bad comment over 100 good ones can still ruin your mood. I know, Natsuya knows… we also get hate from rude people. We get hate from trolls and jealous people… No one is ever immune to that, and Ikuya needs to know this. We try to tell him this, we show him the rude comments we get but, honestly, his in comparison are pretty bad to ours. People are absolutely disgusting towards him. 

Ikuya is tapping away on his phone, and his coffee and cake are gone. He says they were really good and that he’d totally come regularly if he lived here. That’s a good review from him, all the items I got were pretty good as well, though one was just above average. This place definitely deserves the 4.8 star rating. Natsuya liked his black coffee and took a bite of the scone I thought was the best from my choices, and he liked it just as much as I did.

“Hey Ikuya, send me your review soon, okay? Be honest,” I smile at him and he just looks up at me for a second and nods. He’s probably editing a photo to post.

Natsuya and I took the time to convince him not to ever use facetune. Ikuya is already pretty insecure, I can’t imagine how bad that app would be on his mental health. Sometimes, after I look for mean comments on his Instagram, I search his apps… just to make sure he didn’t download it in secret. He has yet to, thankfully.

“You don’t need to edit your photos that much, Ikuya, you look just fine,” I say to encourage him to not edit too heavily.

“You hitting on my brother?” Natsuya says this and I just glare at him. He gives the dumbest fucking toothy smile I ever saw, and Ikuya also looks at him with disgust.

“If I had a drink I’d splash it your face, you’re lucky I don’t just fucking leave you here,” My voice is calm but stern, and I fully mean what I say.

~✖⛧♡⛧✖~

I posted my picture to Instagram and sent Nao what I wrote on my thoughts about the food and coffee.

Honestly, I wish I got that hot guy’s username or something; he’s beyond my type. Every aspect of him was my type…

The three of us are in a hotel, I have a room alone, and of course, those two idiots have their own suite… I’m so lonely… I wish I could’ve gotten his information… I wish he was right here with me…

I close my eyes…


	3. Scroll

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ✖⛧✖⛧✖ - Point of View switch!  
> ~•⛧♡⛧•~ - Time Change only, same POV as before!  
> ~✖⛧♡⛧✖~ - Both POV and Time Change!  
> (Also I couldn't think of a phone number that was fake so I meme'd~ I'm an adult, I'm 100% not sorry!!)  
> (*All art is made by me*, sorry I don't have an actual style, my art is very inconsistent! Also, the texts where Ikuya sent a selfie I tried my hardest to fix the spacing and bottom part but I couldn't get it right, please ignore it! I have no idea how to code lol! I placed the fic in 2013 for a variety of reasons! If you wanna know all of them feel free! to ask me HAHAHAHDSJFAFS!)

I feel my phone vibrate, so I sleepily move around and pick it up...

(234)666-6969  
  
**Today** 9:38 PM  
Hey, it's Hiyori from earlier! The one person you were with gave me your number. This is Ikuya, correct?  


I cannot believe Natsu-nii gave that hot guy at the bakery my fucking number… I’m so mad but thankful at the same damn time. 

(234)666-6969  
  
**Today** 9:38 PM  
Hey, it's Hiyori from earlier! The one person you were with gave me your number. This is Ikuya, correct?  
Hi, yeah. It's me. That was my brother actually. :p  
  


I sit up… I see the dots appear… 

(234)666-6969  
  
**Today** 9:38 PM  
Hey, it's Hiyori from earlier! The one person you were with gave me your number. This is Ikuya, correct?  
Hi, yeah. It's me. That was my brother actually. :p  
You three travel a lot right? How long are you staying here for? Are you still here or at the next big city?  
  


Oh, I’m only like 30 miles from there anyway, I can still see him! We’ll be here for a while. I start to reply… 

(234)666-6969  
  
**Today** 9:38 PM  
Hey, it's Hiyori from earlier! The one person you were with gave me your number. This is Ikuya, correct?  
Hi, yeah. It's me. That was my brother actually. :p  
You three travel a lot right? How long are you staying here for? Are you still here or at the next big city?  
Yeah, but it's only 30 miles away, I can still come see you! :)  
  


GOD! Did that sound weird? Did the emoticon make it weird? I’m a fucking idiot… 

(234)666-6969  
  
You three travel a lot right? How long are you staying here for? Are you still here or at the next big city?  
Yeah, but it's only 30 miles away, I can still come see you! :)  
I think I know where you are then! I’d love for you to come back, I can show you around my small town! You seem really interesting and you’re really cute! We can meet at my shop again!  
  
  


Cute? I’m really cute? My jaw dropped reading that… he likes me? Does he think I’m cute? I look down as my phone vibrates. Also… 'My shop'? He owns that place? I’m really thirsty suddenly! I feel my phone vibrate once more as I daze into my stupid horny thoughts. 

(234)666-6969  
  
Yeah, but it's only 30 miles away, I can still come see you! :)  
I think I know where you are then! I’d love for you to come back, I can show you around my small town! You seem really interesting and you’re really cute!  
  
I’m also an aspiring photographer with a really nice camera, I can help with some photos if you’d like? I’m also really good with editing.  
  
  


Okay, let me get this right… He’s hot, nerdy and smart(?), really sweet, thinks I’m cute, owns a fucking business and supposedly a good photographer and editor… this man is a walking Gary Stu what’s the fucking catch? 

(234)666-6969  
  
Yeah, but it's only 30 miles away, I can still come see you! :)  
I think I know where you are then! I’d love for you to come back, I can show you around my small town! You seem really interesting and you’re really cute!  
  
I’m also an aspiring photographer with a really nice camera, I can help with some photos if you’d like? I’m also really good with editing.  
  
You seem too perfect to be true? :S  
  
  


I sent that… That’s a lil desperate, in my opinion, but I digress… I decide to set his contact name instead of having just his phone number. 

Hiyori  
  
I think I know where you are then! I’d love for you to come back, I can show you around my small town! You seem really interesting and you’re really cute!  
  
I’m also an aspiring photographer with a really nice camera, I can help with some photos if you’d like? I’m also really good with editing.  
  
You seem too perfect to be true? :S  
  
I guess I could say the same about you!  
  
  


Yeah, I’m probably right. He’s too perfect to be true, what sane individual would think I’M PERFECT? Did he see my Instagram? Oh shit! I gotta ask Natsu-nii what information he fucking gave him. 

Hiyori  
  
I’m also an aspiring photographer with a really nice camera, I can help with some photos if you’d like? I’m also really good with editing.  
  
You seem too perfect to be true? :S  
  
I guess I could say the same about you!  
  
Brb and while I’m away what’s your favorite color? I’m curious?  
  
  


Random question, but I wanna know what heart to put next to his name!! I have to ask the serious question, not to Hiyori… but to Natsu-nii! 

🙄Natsu-Nii🙅  
  
**Today** 9:59 PM  
did you give hiyori my fucking instaragm? >:(  
  
  


I wait for a reply from both of them. It felt like hours while I was waiting, but it was just a couple of minutes. 

🙄Natsu-Nii🙅  
  
**Today** 9:59 PM  
did you give hiyori my fucking instaragm? >:(  
  
yeah? it’s not a big deal? You’ll give it to him anyways and watch how you type! if you wanna impress him you can’t misspell ‘Instagram’.  
  
  


Whatever, I am watching how I type to him. I really don’t care how I type to my brother or Nao, but especially my brother. I give some respect to Nao in the form of punctuation, but if I make a typo I don’t care much, as long as it’s comprehensible. He said to me once he thinks the way I type and text is endearing.

I see Hiyori’s text appear at the top of my screen… and I click on it.

Hiyori  
  
You seem too perfect to be true? :S  
  
I guess I could say the same about you!  
  
Brb and while I’m away what’s your favorite color? I’m curious?  
  
**Today** 10:01 PM  
Green, what’s yours?  
  
  


Green? Figures. He had a lot of green in his store, and was also wearing a dark green sweater that, wow, when he pulled up his sleeves… made him look so perfect. Like, chefs kiss perfect! Added! 

Hiyori💚  
  
I guess I could say the same about you!  
  
Brb and while I’m away what’s your favorite color? I’m curious?  
  
**Today** 10:01 PM  
Green, what’s yours?  
  
I like purple, but also pinks and blacks too. I asked because I wanna put an emoji next to your name in my phone!💜   
  
  


I sound stupid but whatever… He’s already seen my posts for crying out loud!

~✖⛧♡⛧✖~

Hiyori decides before texting Ikuya that he’ll check his Instagram to see what more he can gather about him. He’s very shy, clearly, and cute… Hiyori may have developed the tiny crush after the whole spilling ordeal. He watched Ikuya smack Natsuya like a brat for some reason, and he thought it was stupid and cute and very rash… Ikuya seems very emotional and super sincere at the same time, along with being drop-dead gorgeous. He’s his type.

If Hiyori could put his type into three keywords… Cute, air-headed, and emotional… Everything he thinks he’s not. His polar opposite. He doesn’t think he’s cute, he’s a rational thinker and does things only after much thought, and he holds in his emotions rather well.

Turning on his phone, he taps the Instagram icon… He types in Ikuya’s username and clicks on his page… He’s stunned at the number of followers. He’s dumbfounded…

The bio is simple: Ikuya ♡ 19 ♡ Sad to the Core Core Core...

His icon is him taking a selfie in a mirror it looks like…

His follower count is… high… like really high! It’s kinda deserved, he thinks, Ikuya is really pretty.

He clicks the first picture and begins to scroll!

sad.mess **28,303** likes  
**sad.mess** candy is dandy~  View all 330 comments September 15, 2013

sad.mess **27,396** likes  
**sad.mess** i’m tired, please leave me alone!  View all 220 comments September 13, 2013

sad.mess **36,420** likes  
**sad.mess** im in chicago with my brother and nao! i could use a nap!  View all 396 comments September 10, 2013

Hiyori stops scrolling for a second… Ikuya is really cute in all these… He’s stunned, he knows Ikuya was beautiful in person, but even in these photos he’s beautiful as hell.

He keeps scrolling, and scrolling... and scrolling he reaches July…

sad.mess **25,136** likes  
**sad.mess** me and nao are turtleneck twins, natsu-nii tried to photo bomb us… it's july 4th as well, don't forget to light fireworks and eat bbq :p  View all 269 comments July 4, 2013

Hiyori, at times has to put his phone down to calm down. Is it true that this cute guy is into him? How is that possible? He sighs, picks up his phone and scrolls more and more! He hits May! 

sad.mess **40,418** likes  
**sad.mess** ♡ I T’ S A B I T C H E A T B I T C H W O R L D ♡ #ElectraHeart View all 444 comments May 28, 2013

What an interesting caption, Hiyori thinks to himself… He clicks on it and sees the comments, he’s curious. He realizes Ikuya’s engagement and followers sync perfectly, it’s not bought followers… He’s genuinely popular, it makes sense to him of course.

~✖⛧♡⛧✖~

A vibration and ping… Ikuya sent me another message... We’ve been texting for several hours now, I’m so lucky that he’s actually super sweet, funny, and just overall what I thought he’d be!

✨Ikuya💜  
  
**Today** 12:27 AM   
That’s so funny!! lol!  
  
I think you are haha!  
  
Shh! Hey, do you wanna see me right now?  
  
Uh… Sure?  
  
[](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/592462622956322856/672615223018127390/first_text_with_image.png)  
  


CRAP! He looks so cute! Another ping? 

✨Ikuya💜  
  
I think you are haha!  
  
Shh! Hey, do you wanna see me right now?  
  
Uh… Sure?  
  
[](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/592462622956322856/672615223018127390/first_text_with_image.png)  
I wanna see you too! ;p💚💜  
  
  


Oh no… what does he expect? A selfie like his? Or something else? I’m fully clothed? He’s at least shirtless, should I take my shirt off? Should I change the lighting? Oh, God, what do I do? I’m panicking over this small stupid thing! 

✨Ikuya💜  
  
[](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/592462622956322856/672615223018127390/first_text_with_image.png)  
I wanna see you too! ;p💚💜  
  
I don’t know what you expect from me, I’m not really naturally pretty like you are. I’m just in bed fully clothed, I don’t know if it’ll be that interesting. Sorry.  
  


Wow… My insecurities spilled out… That’s very uncool… I was doing so well too! I think I just ruined everything… everything... 

✨Ikuya💜  
  
I wanna see you too! ;p💚💜  
  
I don’t know what you expect from me, I’m not really naturally pretty like you are. I’m just in bed fully clothed, I don’t know if it’ll be that interesting. Sorry.  
I think you’d look sexy in and out of anything though! :( You could wear a trash bag and you’d look hot!! I don’t care what you’re wearing I just wanna see you! You’re so cute! >:(  
  
  


Ikuya thinks I’m… attractive… and is just mad that I can't see it? This is so bizarre to me, because no one in my life really ever has complimented me like this. He’s sure I’m attractive, like really sure? Am I really this insecure about my looks, about my face, about my body? I’ve never dated anyone, I barely had any friends either.

I grew up really fast, and at age 19, I own a business. I also go to university. I do so much for others and for myself, yet I never take time to think about… superficial things like looks. Why am I so vulnerable? Why did I admit to Ikuya I was insecure? Am I brave or a coward for everything that’s happened thus far?

Looking inside myself is hard, I’m my own worst enemy. I’m overly critical of certain things but why suddenly, do I care what I look like? Looks don’t matter when I’m 70! Maybe being vulnerable and honest to Ikuya will help my case.

Society as of late tells women all the time they’re beautiful no matter what but I never really see campaigns for insecure men. Where is the support for men who are repulsed when they look in a mirror? Where is the support for men who are sensitive and vulnerable? For men who are hurt? Sad? On the verge of losing everything? We get laughed out and ridiculed for our insecurities. Man up! We’re told. Men don’t cry... I try… Lord, do I try to forget I hate myself… I haven’t cried in so long. I stop myself because I’m told it’s bad… If I cry now will I feel better?

I remember seeing some captions from Ikuya, he’s vulnerable as hell to the world… That couldn’t be me. I’ve seen a few mean comments on his pictures, more recent ones of course. I bet he deletes the mean comments… Fuck those idiots who hurt him, who harass him. They mock his appearance, his clothes and makeup, who cares if boys wear makeup? I saw one racist comment as well… People, when they have an anonymous mask over their gross face, will say and do anything to make themselves feel better. Including tearing others down. It’s stupid. Ikuya is honestly so brave, and I commend him for still posting. I think one mean comment, and I’d throw my phone out the window and never look back. I sigh...

I’m sleepy…

✨Ikuya💜  
  
I don’t know what you expect from me, I’m not really naturally pretty like you are. I’m just in bed fully clothed, I don’t know if it’ll be that interesting. Sorry.  
I think you’d look sexy in and out of anything though! :( You could wear a trash bag and you’d look hot!! I don’t care what you’re wearing I just wanna see you! You’re so cute! >:(  
Thank you for the compliment, honestly it means a lot. I’m getting sleepy though. We agreed to meet at 10 am, see you then I look forward to seeing you again!!  
  
  


Whatever you do… Don’t drag yourself any further, I decided to thank him and tell him goodnight, for now, I believe this was the best decision… Sorry, Ikuya, I’m very sleepy… Good night, Ikuya... Sleep tight. 


	4. Sorta Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ✖⛧✖⛧✖ - Point of View switch!  
> ~•⛧♡⛧•~ - Time Change only, same POV as before!  
> ~✖⛧♡⛧✖~ - Both POV and Time Change!

I wake up at 8 am to make sure I can look good enough for Ikuya…

Wait… There I go again, being insecure and bringing myself down… Being vulnerable and spilling my low self-esteem onto the floor. I need to stop. I need to let go of those bad thoughts. Ikuya thinks I’m attractive… He thinks I’d look good in anything or nothing at all, even if he hasn’t seen my body? But my body isn’t that great either… Fuck, there I go again… My thoughts run and run.

All I can do is get ready and shower. I don’t eat because we’re gonna get breakfast together. A date, but not really since we’re not a couple. He knows I think he’s cute, funny, and basically perfect and I know he likes me too… But we didn’t set an established agreement yet. I doubt he wants to date me, he travels and probably wants to continue being with his brother and his fiance.

My shower was long and silent. Usually, I play music in the background but I couldn’t bring myself to do that… I also stayed in for longer than I usually do. Why am I being like this?

I dress in casual clothes, a dark green turtleneck sweater, and regular dress pants. I can’t try too hard… 

I hope this isn’t a dream.

✖⛧✖⛧✖

My phone alarm goes off, and I sluggishly turn it off and sit up. It’s 8 am… I better start getting ready if I wanna see Hiyori at 10 am. Nao agreed to drive me back to hang out with him today, luckily. He’s happy I found someone to talk to who I’m interested in as well. He probably lowkey hopes we start dating.

I’d feel bad for leaving those two to be with Hiyori, if Hiyori still likes me after he deals with me and my needy pathetic ass. I’m pretty bratty and crave attention constantly. Is Hiyori up for that? Is he ready for that? Friendship attention or romance. Whatever it is, I want it.

We’ll soon find out, I guess.

I slept completely naked so I just kinda, wander out of bed, grab two towels, and some other things before heading into the bathroom to cleanse everything, including my stupid mind. Showers are perfect for thinking and reflection, and also emptying your mind if you try hard enough.

I wash my hair first, I always do, then the rest of my body. I actually have a habit of shaving in several places too, but I don’t have time, and I did that yesterday morning anyway, it’s not that bad. I’m gonna be wearing layers of clothes, and it’s not like we’ll be in the bedroom in that way right away anyway.

I turn the water off… pat my body dry and begin to dry my hair. I’m already afraid of what is to come and I haven’t even left the hotel room. I’m a mess.

Keeping the towel around me, I do the rest of what is needed to do; brush my teeth, try to dry my hair more because I don’t have a hairdryer, and then run my fingers through it. No point in brushing it if it’s still pretty damp. Thick hair is really annoying. I’ll probably catch a cold. It’s late November and chilly outside, going outside with wet hair is so stupid but alas, here I am.

I start to get dressed. I decide that an oversized sweater and black skinny jeans will suffice. I’m half insecure about my body in the sense that I think it’s fine for me… but sometimes I wish I looked like my brother, or Hiyori, or something like that. Oh, what disordered minds and bad eating habits, or lack thereof, will do to you. Sometimes, I’m still not thin enough, but still desire to also gain a bunch of muscles. Man, this sucks! It sucks so much that I can’t have two bodies!

Slowly making my way around my hotel room, organizing things, and doing basic needed things… I look at my phone. 8:58 am… Better hurry. I shoot Nao a text real fast.

Mama Nao💙  
  
**Today** 8:59 AM  
hey nao! uh, we have to leave soon have you been getting ready? i’ll head up in a minute.  


I finish up everything, grab my things, and head up to the love birds’ room. I knock and then check my phone which is set to silent and do not disturb. 

Mama Nao💙  
  
**Today** 8:59 AM  
hey nao! uh, we have to leave soon have you been getting ready? i’ll head up in a minute.  
Good morning, Ikuya! I’m getting ready now, okay? 

Nao opens the door a moment later.

“Good morning to you too,” I smile softly. I need something to wake me up properly. I’m still tired.

“Shall we head out?” Nao’s smile shines brighter than mine ever could, I nod. I’m thankful Natsu-nii isn’t going with us.

✖⛧✖⛧✖

Both Ikuya and I hop into the car, it’s rather cold so I handed him my gloves because he didn’t bring any. I let the car warm up for a minute or so and I set my GPS then we went on our merry way.

“You wanna listen to music?” I ask.

“Of course,” Ikuya replies, “Lemme sync my phone.”

I allow him to hook up his phone and he presses play.

This song is pretty… There are birds in the background! Wow, her voice is so... unique… These lyrics are… depressing? Wow. 

I look over to Ikuya, who's looking out the window lip-syncing, and I look back to the road. “This song is depressing, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, but so am I?” He replies, he’s very sassy, but I think that’s why I adore him. His sass is more heartfelt than Natsuya’s sass.

“I know it’s hard, and it’s easier said than done, but I wish you’d find another outlet. You’re clearly troubled, and I worry about you,” I say earnestly, “I’d be very upset if I lost you, Ikuya.” I could see him turn around so fast to look at me out of the corner of my eye. He slowly looks to his right and watches the world pass by. “Social media will mess you up, I see it happening, I know you do too… I worry about you. The rude comments you get are nasty and wrong.” Honestly, I’m ready to rant to him. “You’re worth so much more than numbers on a phone, Ikuya. What if you lost your following? What would you do? Honestly?”

Ikuya sighs, “I don’t know?”

“Exactly! Social media can be taken from you in the blink of an eye, you hear me?” I continue for his sake, pep talk and all. I wanna help Ikuya as much as I can, that’s my role, isn’t it?

“One day Instagram could be gone. No longer used or accessible. What would you do?”

“I dunno...” Ikuya’s reply was softer.

“You have potential, Ikuya, you’re so kind and you’re fun to be around, but people like you, would be eaten alive if you hung around other social media stars.”

“Really?” 

“Yeah, you’re pretty gullible and still really young. Naive, people are ruthless and honestly, I can’t think of anyone more genuine than you, not even Natsuya is as genuine as you are.”

“I don’t wanna talk anymore.” Is he tired of compliments? Is he tired of the truth, I’ll stop pushing boundaries but I have to get another thing off my chest.

“Can I say one more thing?”

“Fine.”

“Whatever you do today… be yourself, be genuine, Hiyori clearly likes you as you are and if anything bad happens, call me. I’ll be on the lookout for you forever… I hope you know that. I care about you too much to see you get hurt.” My words are done. I’m pretty emotional, which is unusual. But something about this moment made me really want to help Ikuya, and even if he’s uncomfortable with my truth… maybe he absorbed the information and will take it with him in life. Any piece at all. I’m a mess. Ikuya, please just listen to my advice… and please put on a happier song too!

~•⛧♡⛧•~ 

I feel like Ikuya's mother, him and I joke about it all the time, actually. I would be beyond devastated if anything bad were to happen to him. Sure I get hate online, but I can take it. The hate Natsuya and I receive isn't bad. We both have hearts and minds of steel. Nothing like that gets to us really. Sure, it can put you in a bit of a sour mood but we bounce back fast. Ikuya, on the other hand, dwells on it, cries and gets very depressed. His heart and mind are fragile. The hate he gets is worse and more abundant than ours in retrospect. I think maybe that's a major reason I want to protect him, help guide him and help him understand things. We can't just put him in therapy sadly. 

Natsuya, Ikuya and I make our living online. It's how we are able to travel as a living. Like I told Ikuya, these things can be gone in a flash. I really don't want Ikuya to focus on superficial things but I think he's trying to stay humble. Ikuya gets physical items more than Natsuya and I do and because we don't have an address we either send it to their father's house to pick up later or we find a way to meet up face to face to pick up the items. Ikuya is so shy and scared that he has us speak for him when he meets new people, he's very endearing. Honestly, Natsuya and I need to put our foot down soon. He's very troubled.

~✖⛧♡⛧✖~

Soon after Nao drops Ikuya off he whips out his phone to shoot Natsuya a text.

💩Dumpster Fire😷  
  
**Today** 9:51 AM  
I dropped Ikuya off, I wanna stay here just in case something happens and he needs me, okay? Will you be okay travelling by yourself there for today?  


💩Dumpster Fire😷  
  
**Today** 9:51 AM  
I dropped Ikuya off, I wanna stay here just in case something happens and he needs me, okay? Will you be okay travelling by yourself for today?  
yeah, that's fine. please take care of him, I want him safe. I'll be fine on my own, don't worry I'm a big kid. ;)  


💩Dumpster Fire😷  
  
**Today** 9:51 AM  
I dropped Ikuya off, I wanna stay here just in case something happens and he needs me, okay? Will you be okay travelling by yourself for today?  
yeah, that's fine. please take care of him, I want him safe. I'll be fine on my own, don't worry I'm a big kid. ;)  
Don't wink at me.  


💩Dumpster Fire😷  
  
**Today** 9:51 AM  
I dropped Ikuya off, I wanna stay here just in case something happens and he needs me, okay? Will you be okay travelling by yourself for today?  
yeah, that's fine. please take care of him, I want him safe. I'll be fine on my own, don't worry I'm a big kid. ;)  
Don't wink at me.  
Ikuya uses these emoticons all the time but you don't hate him for it, so why me??  


💩Dumpster Fire😷  
  
yeah, that's fine. please take care of him, I want him safe. I'll be fine on my own, don't worry I'm a big kid. ;)  
Don't wink at me.  
Ikuya uses these emoticons all the time but you don't hate him for it, so why me??  
Because it's cute when he does it. You using them activates my fight or flight response, and fight is winning.  


✖⛧✖⛧✖

Ikuya exits Nao’s car with a wave and a thanks. He hops over some divots in the road and reaches the sidewalk. He’s got a few blocks before he reaches the bakery where Hiyori works. He says it’s his day off… Ikuya thinks it’s strange that he’d wanna be at his own business on his day off, but he shrugs it off. Maybe he loves his business that much, that confidence is appealing but Ikuya remembers Hiyori leaking insecurities out last night… He’s confused how such a handsome guy could have such low self-esteem. It makes no sense to him but again, he shrugs it off. Maybe he’s just really shy and will open up?

He finally makes it to the storefront. Noticing the closed sign, he tilts his head and pulls out his phone, 10:01 am… He examines the door, and it says the hours are 7 am to 5 pm every day but Sunday… and it’s not Sunday.

He decided to shoot a text.

Hiyori💚  
  
Thank you for the compliment, honestly it means a lot. I’m getting sleepy though. We agreed to meet at 10 am, see you then I look forward to seeing you again!!  
Okay, Good night!  
Good night!  
**Today** 10:02 AM   
Your store is closed?  
  


Ikuya’s mind, within the minute or so he was standing in front of Hiyori’s shop, was racing faster than the speed of light. Did Hiyori lie? Did he forget? Was he duped? Did something bad happen to him? Did he sleep in? Traffic? What if it’s a prank? He really doesn’t like him? What if something bad happened to Hiyori?

He hears the chimes of the door open then sees Hiyori in front of him in a nicely fitted dark green turtleneck. He can’t help but think that the shirt is a size too small on him.

“Hey, sorry I really should have mentioned I locked my shop so no one could disturb us and we can be alone.” Hiyori opens the door to let Ikuya in and out of the cold.

“No, it’s fine,” Ikuya says this and stands awkwardly by the door, Hiyori waves his hand in to welcome him in further.

Ikuya is so intimidated by the man in front of him, and yet he trusts him at the same time. It’s an odd feeling. He feels like he’s a peasant in the presence of a God.

“What do you want to eat,” Hiyori swings around the counter and put on his apron. 

“Oh, uh,” the smaller male stutters a bit, looking at Hiyori’s sunshine smile and the board above. Nao gave him $100’s on top of what Ikuya already had and planned on bringing. Just to spoil him. “I’ll just have what I had yesterday I guess, I dunno,” He shrugs.

Hiyori laughs and tells him to take a seat anywhere, Ikuya takes out his wallet but Hiyori stops him.

“No no! You don’t have to pay, it’s my treat!” He smiles at Ikuya.

“But you’re a business?” Ikuya batted his eyelashes in disbelief.

“I don’t charge hot guys, it’s a new policy. It only applies to you,” Hiyori laughs.

Ikuya’s face turned so red, beets would be put to shame. He picks a seat and waits.

“What other foods do you like?” Hiyori asks rummaging around. “I can go back and make something from scratch more filling than a cake, you like American breakfast foods?”

“Uh, Yeah… But you don’t have to, it won’t be necessary!” Ikuya waves his hands in front of him to stop Hiyori, but he doesn’t want to listen. He holds up his index finger for a second and goes behind some doors.

Ikuya sighs and picks up his phone to scroll on Instagram and Twitter interchangeably. 

Soon enough, he smells something pretty sweet, and he looks up… Hiyori isn’t back yet, but whatever he’s making smells really good.

Another minute passes, and Hiyori emerges out of the back with a big platter of food for both of them.

“Oh, Wow! You didn’t have to make all of this?” Ikuya says and Hiyori shakes his head.

He sets the platter on the table next to them and transfers four plates to their table, “I did because I wanted to,” he says as he finishes, “Lemme grab us coffees, you want the same order as yesterday? Hot or iced? Hot like before?”

“No, give it to me iced please,” Ikuya awkwardly smiles at him. It’s incredibly adorable to Hiyori and he trots off to make them both iced coffees.

“So, where are you from in Japan?” Hiyori didn’t even ask this question in text, so it’s shocking but not to Ikuya.

“Uh, Iwatobi, but when I moved to America in middle school, I lived in Florida. Then for my last year of high school, I managed to go to a nice school in Kyoto.” Ikuya starts picking at his pancakes, they look delicious with all the sweet stuff on top. Hiyori is very aware of Ikuya’s sweet tooth.

“I lived in Iwatobi too, but only until I was 6, then I moved to America and stayed,” Hiyori says, still whipping up Ikuya’s and his drink.

“It’s possible we met somewhere before, huh?” Ikuya tilts his head.

“Yeah, maybe,” Hiyori replies, zipping around the counter and arriving with both of their drinks. Ikuya got his chocolatey sweet coffee and Hiyori just made himself a regular iced latte with no added flavors or sugar.

“What coffee did you make yourself?” The teal haired boy says as he’s about to take another bite of his pancakes.

“Just a plain latte.” He swirled the drink around to make it colder.

“Can I try? I’ve never had it plain before?” He asks Hiyori, he’s too cute to say no.

“Sure,” He hands Ikuya his drink and Ikuya sips it, then retracts a bit. It’s weird textured and tasting to him.

“Haha, you don’t like it, do you?” Hiyori laughs as he watches Ikuya wipe his mouth and then scarf down the food.

“I hate milk.” He continues to eat, talking with his mouth full of food. Hiyori finds this really silly but endearing.

Hiyori takes back his drink and takes a long sip, “Thanks for the indirect kiss as well!”

Ikuya stops eating and chewing and just stares at Hiyori and blushes, “Oh god, shut up...” He gets redder and redder. Hiyori just sips his drink, happy to have tiny remnants of Ikuya’s spit in his mouth.

“You’re so easy to embarrass, it’s cute,”

“I’m not cute,” Ikuya pouts.

“Oh, that’s cute too! Your pouting face and the fact you don’t think you’re cute.”

Both of them slowly grow into a laugh.

~•⛧♡⛧•~

“Thanks so much for breakfast! I didn’t expect you to wanna go all out like that, I didn’t deserve that. I honestly can pay you back though,” Ikuya links Hiyori’s arm.

“No no, trust me it’s fine, maybe I really want to spoil you a bit?” Hiyori coos. He’s smug.

Ikuya looks up at him and bats his eyelashes. He nuzzles his face into Hiyori’s upper arm and they both keep walking. 

After a bit of walking, Hiyori makes it to a little area in downtown that looks rather nice. “Do you want me to show you around or do you want to just sit and talk for a bit?” Hiyori and Ikuya are standing still on the sidewalk next to an uneven brick road. Ikuya thinks for a second.

“Let’s just sit down for a bit, but I’m cold,” Ikuya says, giving out haa’s to see his breath float in front of him and swirl into the air.

“Come here,” Hiyori grabs Ikuya’s hand and guides him to a metal bench.

“That’ll be cold,” Ikuya says watching Hiyori sit down.

“Not if you sit on my lap,” Hiyori pats his thigh a few times, Ikuya’s already red face, turned red from the cold, is now redder.

“F-fine,” Ikuya says curtly and sits on Hiyori’s lap without hesitation.

Hiyori wraps his arms around Ikuya resting one hand on his thigh. Ikuya just nuzzles into Hiyori’s body more and more.

“You still cold?” Hiyori says as he rubs Ikuya’s thigh with his thumb.

“Kinda.” 

“My scarf is really long you can undo it a bit and wrap it around your neck too.”

Ikuya parted from Hiyori for a moment to help unravel his scarf so he could wrap it around his neck, he then nuzzles back into Hiyori...


	5. Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ✖⛧✖⛧✖ - Point of View switch!  
> ~•⛧♡⛧•~ - Time Change only, same POV as before!  
> ~✖⛧♡⛧✖~ - Both POV and Time Change!

Hiyori and I went to different places to eat, and to the boutiques and sightseeing places. For a smaller town of just under 30k, you’d think it wouldn’t have SO MUCH TO DO. He’s so sweet, he tried paying for my lunch and dinner, but I ended up paying for his, with only a small amount of arguing. I’m not the poorest person, I’m pretty well off… He’s a business owner who lost a full day of business just to spend a whole day with me. He has so much to lose, to be honest. I’ll pay him back for breakfast too.

We ended up taking several selfies, which I posted to Instagram. Simple captions that he had no say in, but was embarrassed by. Honestly, I think finally having a hot guy to post photos with who likes me as much as he does… or at least says, is great!

I posted a selfie to twitter as well! I’m not normally on Twitter though, I use Instagram more honestly.

Me and Hiyori became mutuals on all platforms earlier in the day, and I caught him going really far back on my Instagram at dinner too. He must think I’m really cute? But it’s him who is!

~•⛧♡⛧•~

“I insist I pay for this meal too, Hiyori,” I said as I finished eating.

“You paid for the last one?” He’s still eating, he actually got more food than I did.

“And you paid for breakfast, technically...”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” I grabbed the tab and slid some money into it, it’s not a big deal… it’s not like I spent my savings on him. It’s like a 12 dollar meal. He’s overreacting. It’s cute he wants to be the big man though, pay for the ‘lady’s’ dinner. Haha.

~•⛧♡⛧•~

“I think I should text Nao to pick me up, thank you so much for an amazing day,” I shyly swing around my body because I’m restless, I’m wearing his scarf in full now.

“You can do that, or you can stay at my place?” He nudges me.

I blush, probably the worst I have ever experienced. He wants me to be at his place? Where… anything can happen? Jesus, I’m so desperate, I nod my head yes. Of course I wanna be with Hiyori for longer!

I shoot Nao a text.

Mama Nao💙  
  
**Today** 8:59 AM  
hey nao! uh, we have to leave soon have you been getting ready? i’ll head up in a minute.  
Good morning, Ikuya! I’m getting ready now, okay?  
**Today** 7:37 PM  
everything went great. hiyori is very sweet, i’m gonna stay at his place tonight. i’ll text you throughout the night if you wanna make sure i’m safe. You worry too much about me  


Nao is very protective of me, but I trust Hiyori. I bet Nao’s skeptical and fears for the worst. He’s just that kinda mom. 

Mama Nao💙  
  
**Today** 7:37 PM  
everything went great. hiyori is very sweet, i’m gonna stay at his place tonight. i’ll text you throughout the night if you wanna make sure i’m safe. You worry too much about me  
That’s great to hear! I went shopping and got you some things as well, but yes, please keep me posted. I’m sure he’s great but there is a chance he’s not what he seems, Ikuya. You never know. Hope everything works out! See you tomorrow!  


Thanks for always watching over me, Nao.

~✖⛧♡⛧✖~

Ikuya enters Hiyori’s apartment, and it’s rather rustic looking, which isn’t surprising because it fits his aesthetic. The taller male helps take off his coat and hangs it on a coat rack close to his door.

He is guided to Hiyori’s bedroom, and to his right is a bookshelf and desk. His curtains are dark green, but everything else is neutral colors like yellows, tans, and such. Soon enough, Ikuya finds himself seated on Hiyori’s bed, and he’s actually nervous. There is no other place to sit and even Hiyori feels nervous now.

“Sorry, I don’t really have any other seat in my bedroom,” Hiyori says shyly, as he sits next to Ikuya.

“No, it’s okay, I don’t even have a bedroom, I can’t judge,” Ikuya shakes his head, he’s not lying. He lives in the car and at hotels.

“I assume you used to though,” Hiyori chuckles.

“Yeah, it was very small and cramped,” Ikuya laughs too.

“Was it?” 

“Yeah, Natsu-nii’s room was way bigger. When I was a kid I’d play in there most often even if he clearly didn’t want me in his room,” Ikuya says, stretching his legs out, looking at his legs before him. He’s feeling extremely shy and vulnerable, but Hiyori hasn’t done anything to make him not trust him.

Ikuya has trust issues, but Hiyori is cute and has been so kind thus far. His guard is basically fully down.

“Sorry, I’ll be honest, I’ve never been to a cute boy’s bedroom before so I’m nervous,”

“I’ve never had a cute boy in my bedroom, so I am too.”

They sit in silence for a moment. Ikuya looks around. Hiyori doesn’t have a TV, and Ikuya sees that the only piece of technology is a laptop that is closed on his desk. His space is so tidy and well thought out, Ikuya thinks to himself.

“Uh, what do we do now?” He asks, as if Ikuya has an answer.

“I dunno, what do you wanna do?” The teal haired male says, thinking it was a weird way of phrasing it but he cannot take it back.

“Wanna just talk and get to know each other even more?” Hiyori scoots further into his bed and crisscrosses his legs.

Ikuya is kinda shocked by Hiyori’s actions, he tilts his head a bit, “Uh, sure?”

Ikuya sits in front of him and folds his legs as well. Hiyori gives him a warm smile and they start conversing.

~•⛧♡⛧•~

After a few hours of conversing, Ikuya lets out a small yawn. It’s well into the night and both boys are rather sleepy.

“I’m tired,” Ikuya rubs his eyes, “But I need a shower, and I didn’t bring a change of clothes.”

“You can borrow some of mine,” Hiyori says, getting up to look in his closet. It’s a decent size closet located on the total opposite side of the room, “Here,” he says, handing Ikuya some comfortable looking clothes. They all look too big for him. “I’m not gonna let you borrow my underwear so you-”

“I’ll just not wear underwear then,” Ikuya says this so simply and Hiyori blushes. Ikuya notices this and then realizes what he was saying. “Sorry I mean I just- Uh…”

Awkwardness fills the room and Hiyori decides to switch topics, “Wait let me show you where the towels are,” Hiyori guides him to everything he needs and lets Ikuya on his own.

Hiyori is alone with his thoughts… His bad thoughts… 

✖⛧✖⛧✖

God, I shouldn’t have said anything, that was so stupid. No underwear? No problem, I’ll just not wear any. I didn’t have to say it out loud though. That was so embarrassing… I think that was genuinely the most awkward it’s been between us, and we’ve had a few awkward moments. I’ll take spilling coffee over my brother over admitting that I’ll just not wear underwear while wearing his fucking pants. Damn.

After my shower, I feel a little better, but I still feel like Hiyori is judging me or something.

When I’m done with everything in the washroom, I peek my head through the door. I see Hiyori just standing in his kitchen on his phone.

“Hey, I’m done,” I say softly.

He doesn’t really move. Oh God, he’s mad?

“Hey, Hiyori?” I emerge fully. I’m in his clothes which, yes, are way too big for me. Luckily the pants have drawstrings but the shirt is pretty oversized, I think it may be oversized even on him? It’s comfy and nice though. “Hey, are you okay?”

I walk over to him, I’m actually worried. I genuinely hope I didn't upset him.

I hear him sigh, he turns to me, he looks pretty sad… not mad?

“Not really, I’m sorry. I messed everything up.” What? No, he didn’t I did?

“I was the one who messed up, stop beating yourself up. I apologize for making things awkward,” I rub my arm. I’m so awkward, but I can’t help it. Did social media do this to me? I’m too used to only associating in real life with Nao and Natsu-nii.

I can say really anything to them and it’s not that awkward, but I don’t know what will upset or embarrass Hiyori. Fucking social media is ironically making me anti-social. Hiyori didn’t deserve the stupid comment I said. Honestly, I am not wearing my underwear either… I can’t tell him that, haha.

“Hey, I’m talking to you, cutie,” I say as I walk beside him and look at him, he’s not crying but his face is droopy and depressed. I wrap my arm around him and smile at him shyly. He returns the smile.

“I don’t think I deserve you,” he says as he smiles. I’m shocked, but I wanna hear his argument. I ask him why, “You’re so cute and I like that you have no filter. What you said before embarrassed me but it was funny as well. I adore your mannerisms and your picky behaviors.”

“Thanks for the compliments but,” I’m at a loss for words… “That actually hurt… If you like me so much why don’t you keep me?” Hiyori, you fucking coward. Take me if you want me.

I looked down because I was too vulnerable and scared. I bet he either looked shocked or sad.

✖⛧✖⛧✖

Ikuya is sleeping on Hiyori’s bed, and Hiyori is completely restless. He’s scrolling on his phone. He’s working tomorrow, so it’s not healthy but he cannot help himself.

The internet… social media… all of it is addictive and it’s hard to disconnect.

He looks over to his left to see Ikuya sleeping soundly, his hair is messy and his face is gentle as if his dreams are treating him right.

Hiyori thinks to himself as he watches the beautiful man beside him dream. He definitely cannot let him go. He’ll fight his insecurities. 

~•⛧♡⛧•~

The alarm goes off and Hiyori sleepily wakes up. It’s 4:30 am…

He looks at the man who is cuddling up next to him. Pressing his face to his head, he kisses him. His hair is silky and soft. His breathing is soft and smooth. He hates to wake this sleeping beauty, but he has to.

“Hey, Ikuya,” he says into Ikuya’s hair, nuzzling a bit. Ikuya makes some really weird sleepy noises that makes Hiyori crack a smile. “Good morning, beautiful,” He takes Ikuya’s chin to tilt his head up. He kisses his forehead and Ikuya just allows it to happen. He’s secretly freaking out that Hiyori’s lips touched his skin, even if it’s just his forehead. His heart is beating rapidly, he's very happy to share this moment with him.

“Good morning,” Ikuya says with a groggy voice. He’s comfortable and warm because he’s in Hiyori’s embrace.

“I need to get ready for work, I can help you to breakfast though,” Hiyori says, still nuzzling his face into Ikuya’s hair.

“I’m fine, can I stay like this for a few more minutes instead?” Ikuya inches closer to Hiyori, even more than before, barely any space at all between their bodies now.

“Of course, anything for you,” He embraces him fully and squeezes him firmly but with ease. No space at all between their bodies now…


	6. Bully a Bully

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ✖⛧✖⛧✖ - Point of View switch!  
> ~•⛧♡⛧•~ - Time Change only, same POV as before!  
> ~✖⛧♡⛧✖~ - Both POV and Time Change!  
> (Homophobic slurs/Online bullying ahead! As a lesbian, I definitely get that slurs like this can upset people, so this is your warning!)  
> (The drawing is also mine~)

Mama Nao💙  
  
**Today** 8:09 AM  
hey nao! things went well, can you pick me up?  


Things went well, we planned on meeting again, and we took some selfies, one of which I even saved as my phone background. I posted one to my Instagram story as well, but dunno if anyone really cares…

~✖⛧♡⛧✖~

After Hiyori and Ikuya got out of bed, they harmonized their routine. They stayed in bed for about 15 more minutes, a tad bit longer than Ikuya requested. Of course, Hiyori loved how close they were at that moment, he didn’t want it to end either.

“Do you want anything to eat at all?” Hiyori asked, prepared to hear no, but ready to make food anyway.

“No,” Ikuya replied, Hiyori already believes Ikuya is predictable.

“I’m making food anyway since I need to eat, are you positive?” The taller male tilted his head.

“Yeah, I can have Nao get me something,” Ikuya says as he moves around to get ready to leave. He’s sad to go, but he got a text from Natsuya saying that he should make an appearance in the new video he’s gonna film today. Ikuya really isn’t cut out for YouTube, but he will do almost anything to please his brother. He will not admit it, but Natsuya is his biggest inspiration and he sorta idolizes him.

“Well, can you please come back and visit again? I like you a lot,” Hiyori’s face is devastated, Ikuya reads that and feels bad.

“Of course, I like you a lot too,” He walks closer to him. The time is 6:04 am. Hiyori is making himself breakfast. He actually lives above his business so it’s not that bad. Ikuya is ready to leave, but he feels the need to set up another date or something similar. Both have dating each other on their minds but are too afraid to use the word properly.

“D-do you wanna,” Hiyori squeaks. His voice is very unsure and totally unconfident, but he’s already come so far, he can’t back out. He pulls his mind together… he relaxes… “Uh, You wanna start d-dating?” His eyes were dead set to Ikuya’s, but he frantically started looking around his kitchen after asking, he’s trying his best to act nonchalant, but it’s clear it’s just lack of confidence.

“Sure.” Ikuya’s face was warm and appreciative. He’s genuinely happy and proud of Hiyori for asking since he as well… lacked the confidence to even ask. He’s so very proud of him.

This moment was crucial, somehow they feel at ease, and both can feel the esteem boost. The part of Hiyori’s mind that fogs over with critical thinking subsides a bit. Ikuya, who can get rude comments about his looks and body, his mind alleviates a bit. They both have that solid confirmation that, yes, they indeed like each other enough to date and call each other their own. Because sure, calling each other cute is nice but… they’re not the others' without dating. That can change now.

The delight of having each other thrills them. Ikuya’s confidence soars and he walks up to him. “I’m happy,” he says, as he wraps his arms around the back of Hiyori’s neck. Hiyori is surprised but excited, and he returns the favor but wraps his arms around Ikuya’s waist. Slowly but surely, Ikuya inches his face closer to Hiyori’s… Their lips touch. Everything feels right. They kiss until Hiyori burns his food. This causes the smaller man to laugh at his silly panic. “Sorry for ruining your food,” Ikuya says, still laughing.

“It’s not a big deal, your lips were the meal I really needed,” He winks at Ikuya. Utter confidence. Ikuya is aroused…

~✖⛧♡⛧✖~

“I’m so happy things worked out great for you, he seems nice,” Nao said as I entered the car. “Put your seatbelt on please, did you eat yet, are you hungry?”

“Yes, mother,” I put my seatbelt on and shift a bit to get comfortable, “I am hungry kinda, I haven’t eaten. He wanted to make me breakfast but I wanted to eat out with you. I didn’t want him to waste money on me anymore. He literally made me a big breakfast yesterday!”

“Oh really? That’s so sweet,” he laughs, “He sounds like he’s like me. Because I make you and Natsuya big meals all the time.” Nao looks at me then at his mirrors to back out.

“Hm, maybe? I dunno,” Nao is being weird, I just look out the window and sigh.

Soon enough we’re on our way to wherever he has chosen. I take out my phone and plug my earbuds into it. I scroll through my music and pick a song. Soon enough I’m on Instagram… Should I post one of our selfies to my profile? Not just a story?

I decided to do so…

sad.mess **19,104** likes  
**sad.mess** Hiyori is the hottest boyfriend, don’t you think?  View all 220 comments December 1, 2013

Will people take it well… Will people harass him? Should I tag him? I dunno if I should…

“You’re so focused on your phone,” Nao sasses me. This is my career, I should be focused on it.

“My career is on this thing, yours too,” I sass back. He just laughs.

I start getting more and more comments… I scroll and scroll…

Xxxx.30: You two look so cute together!

Thanks, how nice.

Xxxx_xxx18: Wow, you finally have a boyfriend.

I’m surprised too…

Xx_xx04: Ugly fags.

And there it is… Hate. Mean comments will always make the nice ones seem minuscule. Like they don’t exist.

X_x_x20: You both look nice! I’m happy for you!

Yeah but that hate comment ruined my mood. I’m sour. I’m sad. I feel… worthless. Ugly. Do I deserve Hiyori?

Xx_xxx_x14: Ew, delete your account!

Maybe I will… 

X.x.X.x.27: I like your sweaters!

I know you mean well but I hate myself and everything, thanks but please nothing matters.

X_x171: You both look very ugly lol! Kill yourselfs!

I wanna just stop existing… I sit in silence until we arrive at the place Nao chose.

✖⛧✖⛧✖

I noticed Ikuya just uploaded our selfie, but I wasn’t stalking or anything… okay, maybe I was. He said he’d probably upload one in a while, so every so often I’d refresh his page. I didn’t know which one he’d choose, but he chose a good one, so I’m happy. He looks absolutely stunning. Smiling like a dork at my phone behind the scenes at work, I got to look at the comments. Mostly positive… I see… a few… rude comments… I can’t… help myself…

Xx_xx04: Ugly fags.

>Tono.Hiyori: You commented on the wrong picture, this isn’t your parent’s account.

Haha, get fucked.

Xx_xxx_x14: Ew, delete your account!

>Tono.Hiyori: Delete your existence, you piece of shit loser.

X_x171: You both look very ugly lol! Kill yourselfs!

>Tono.Hiyori: *Yourselves… and looking at your feed, I should kill myself, to cleanse myself of the filth I saw on it.

I need to find more. I go to his other pictures to find some…

XXX_XXX909: Your so hideous! Kill yourself.

>Tono.Hiyori: *You’re. Learn how to type before commenting on a beautiful man’s picture you absolute dirty twat.

This is a high I’ve never felt before… I will defend him with my life. I see what these comments can do. Fuck these people for hurting him. I’ll hurt them back. You can’t hurt me with your words, only I can hurt myself. I’m my own worst enemy.

I’m invincible, but I have to go back to work. Don’t worry Ikuya, I will defend you till I die.

✖⛧✖⛧✖

Nao checks his phone while Ikuya keeps his in his pocket to look at the menu, and he sees Ikuya’s selfie with Hiyori. They make a cute couple, he smiles, he clicks on the comments out of habit, of course, to check to see if he got hate comments.

He sees the comments, a lot of support, he’s happy. He then sees a few hate comments and replies to those hate comments… he sees the username… He laughs. Hiyori really is perfect for Ikuya, he’s in good hands.

“What’s funny?” Ikuya says looking up from the menu.

“Nothing,” Nao keeps scrolling.


	7. Damage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ✖⛧✖⛧✖ - Point of View switch!  
> ~•⛧♡⛧•~ - Time Change only, same POV as before!  
> ~✖⛧♡⛧✖~ - Both POV and Time Change!

日和   
@tonohiyori   
My boyfriend got hate and honestly, I'll defend him to the end of time! Fuck anyone who thinks they can just harass him without backlash! You're pathetic for starting it. I'll retaliate to give you a taste of your own medicine!  5:05 PM - Dec 1, 2013  69  1,996 

日和   
@tonohiyori   
Imagine thinking you can send someone hate and karma wouldn't just bite you twice as hard? Honestly. I try to be nice to people, I really want to be nice but if you're harassing random people you deserve the backlash.  5:07 PM - Dec 1, 2013  42  2,020 

日和   
@tonohiyori   
If your energy towards my boyfriend is toxic my energy will be deadly. I will always be a step above someone. I'm smart and petty. Most importantly, I'm a protector.  5:12 PM - Dec 1, 2013  51  2,013 

~✖⛧♡⛧✖~

“I got hate after I posted a selfie with Hiyori,” Ikuya says with food in his mouth. Nao, being the mother of this helpless child, reminds him not to talk with food in his mouth, “You can’t make me stop.”

Nao sighs, “Okay, but I saw the hate too… but Hiyori is so funny, I’m happy he’s your boyfriend.”

Ikuya almost choked on his pancakes, “What?” Nao shushes him.

“He replied to the hate, did you see it? It’s funny, it’s similar to what Natsuya and I have replied with.”

Ikuya swallows his pride and pancakes to check his Instagram comments.

Xx_xx04: Ugly fags.

>Tono.Hiyori: You commented on the wrong picture, this isn’t your parent’s account.

Xx_xxx_x14: Ew, delete your account!

>Tono.Hiyori: Delete your existence, you piece of shit loser.

X_x171: You both look very ugly lol! Kill yourselfs!

>Tono.Hiyori: *Yourselves… and looking at your feed, I should kill myself, to cleanse myself of the filth I saw on it.

Ikuya tries his best to not laugh, he’s failing miserably. 

“Funny right?” Nao says as he’s about to sip his drink.

“Pretty hilarious. I won’t lie, I have a catch,” Ikuya finally let out his laugh.

~•⛧♡⛧•~

“And don’t forget to Like, Comment, and Subscribe! Bye guys!” Natsuya says to the camera. It’s done. Filming is done, he’s happy and so is Nao. Ikuya is utterly exhausted though.

“I really don’t want to be in the video that much, I look like shit right now,” Ikuya says this and Nao and Natsuya frown.

“That’s not true, you look just fine,” Nao hurried to be next to Ikuya, and he rubbed his back to soothe him. Ikuya just wants to go to bed.

“Lemme rewatch the footage, I’ll prove I look bad,” He starts to head towards his brother.

Natsuya sighs and does his magic, the SD card going where it needs to be, and finally, soon enough, they can watch the raw footage. Ikuya picks apart his looks, his mannerisms, his voice and how he speaks. Natsuya and Nao assure him his looks and his acting is just fine. Ikuya doesn’t really listen and insists on being cut from the video entirely. 

“You’re a key part of it, hell no. Ikuya, go to bed. You’re being a downer and it’s tiring,”

These words hurt Ikuya’s being. His heart has shattered… Absolutely defeated, he heads out the door silently, and he heads up the stairs to burn a few extra calories to his suite.

Nao read Ikuya’s aura as that happened, and he knew Ikuya was sad. He was worried, but shrugged it off and decided he’ll text him in a few minutes. Ikuya might want to be alone.

✖⛧✖⛧✖

Fuck this, fuck him. Why does he have to be so mean to me? Why can’t he see my flaws? Why does Nao agree with his stupid opinions? I’m clearly a disaster in that fucking video, I’m so mad. God why can’t they just listen and understand me? Why are they so stubborn? Why can’t I just… disappear?

I flop onto my bed, I don’t wanna eat or shower or anything. With all honesty, I want the Earth to reclaim me. I want to be dirt because that’s what I deserve…

>Fag

>Ew, delete your account!

>You both look very ugly lol! Kill yourselfs!

More and more hate… My soul is tired… I’m just an ugly fag who should delete my account and then kill myself, right?

Is that what I am and what I deserve?

I’m tired. No food. No shower. I deserve nothing good, food makes you fat anyway… I shut my eyes and try to sleep.

~•⛧♡⛧•~

I feel a vibration in my pocket. A text…

Mama Nao💙  
  
**Today** 8:09 AM  
hey nao! things went well, can you pick me up?  
**Today** 11:30 PM  
I’m very worried about you. Please confirm if you’re okay I don’t want to be too intrusive and come up there. Please text back ASAP.  


I sigh, he’s so protective and overbearing sometimes. But I get it. 

Mama Nao💙  
  
hey nao! things went well, can you pick me up?  
**Today** 11:30 PM  
I’m very worried about you. Please confirm if you’re okay I don’t want to be too intrusive and come up there. Please text back ASAP.  
yeah i’m fine i’m just trying to sleep. you woke me up. let me sleep please. good night.  


Fuck, I’m tired. How did I manage to fall asleep? Was I that desperate to escape reality? Maybe? But I doubt I’ll fall back asleep.

Damn you Nao, I understand but… fuck. Leave me alone.


	8. Worry and Compassion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ✖⛧✖⛧✖ - Point of View switch!  
> ~•⛧♡⛧•~ - Time Change only, same POV as before!  
> ~✖⛧♡⛧✖~ - Both POV and Time Change!  
> (The art is mine~)

Ikuya slowly shifts under the huge covers in the hotel bed when he notices light. It’s morning. It’s morning and he got literally no sleep. He curses under his breath as he gets up, knowing Hiyori was coming over to his hotel room soon. He checks the time, 10:16 am.

Hiyori is literally gonna be there in 14 minutes, and all Ikuya can do is panic as he tries to freshen up. He brushes his teeth and decides since he has literally no time to shower to just use dry shampoo. He puts deoderant on and changes his clothes quickly, since he was in his old clothes from the other day. He wasn’t gonna leave with Hiyori’s sweats.

In record time, Ikuya did well on his self care for what he could manage. He was proud, but sad he didn't have time to shower. He wishes he’d paid attention sooner.

10:24… 10:25… 10:26 and he hears a knock on his hotel room door. He jumps into action, fixing his clothes and hair as he slowly makes his way to the door.

He sees Hiyori after opening the door. His demeanor is soft and welcoming. Ikuya guides him in.

“It must be hard not having a steady bedroom!” Hiyori exclaims, walking in like he owns the hotel. The confidence and enthusiasm is hot and a little too much for tired little Ikuya. He really regrets not getting any sleep after all.

“Maybe I can make your bedroom mine too,” Ikuya replies flirtatiously with a soft sleepy voice.

“I’d love that actually,” Hiyori laughs and walks over to the bed to sit down. He pats the space beside him, and Ikuya sits next to Hiyori without hesitation.

“You look tired, did you sleep at all last night?”

“No, haha,” Ikuya laughs but Hiyori isn’t returning the laughter.

He reaches out and cups Ikuya’s face softly, “Let’s take a nap then?”

Ikuya’s face scrunched up, confused, he shrugs though, “Fine, cuddle with me...” He lunges towards him, grabs him, and surrounds him with all his body. Hiyori just laughs and tries to get comfortable in the uncomfortable position. If Ikuya is happy and comfortable he’ll allow it.

Soon enough, the embrace they share lulls Ikuya to sleep. What he needs is someone to hold and someone who can hold him. His mind knows he needs the embrace of someone to help him sleep… It’s why he’s always so tired and why he slept rather well at Hiyori’s place… It’s why he’s out like a light now in his hotel room, in Hiyori’s arms. 

~✖⛧♡⛧✖~

“What are we gonna do about Ikuya?” I ask, absolutely defeated. Nao is next to me, I feel like shit and I’ve been editing the stupid video, trying my hardest to cut most of Ikuya’s parts out though he played such a good roll in the video. I’m doing what he wants because I wanna make HIM happy.

“You act like I’m the ultimate fixer, he has to want to see the light and to get better, Natsuya,” Nao’s right. It’s terrible that we may wait months, or years, or worse… decades till Ikuya feels better. We cannot fix him. He isn’t an object, he cannot be fixed. One has to fix themselves because they’re human… blah blah blah. I wish it wasn’t that way but it is. I have to get used to it.

I hear this same thing from Nao so often. I get it but I don’t want to believe that we can’t help.

I decide to text him.

Lil Bro✨  
  
**Today** 11:35 AM  
Yo! what are you doing right now? We need to talk.  


Please answer me…

✖⛧✖⛧✖

Brrbp~ The sound and the feeling of the vibrating next to the two young mens’ heads caused a bit of a stir. Ikuya winced and shuttered, it could only be Nao or Natsuya… If he gets more texts he’ll know it’s Natsuya, Natsuya tends to send multiple at once. Nao does one long paragraph.

✖⛧✖⛧✖

I’m restless… I shoot another text after 2 minutes...

Lil Bro✨  
  
**Today** 11:35 AM  
Yo! what are you doing right now? We need to talk.  
Ikuya, please respond i know you’re on your phone. You’re always on it.  


✖⛧✖⛧✖

Brrbp~ Ikuya whines. It’s definitely his older brother.

“You’re on me, it’s easier for you to grab can you check my phone? My passcode is 900303,” Ikuya says with serious exhaustion into Hiyori’s body.

Hiyori reaches up to see the texts, 900303, he’s in, “Natsu...nii?” He says.

“Knew it, what does he want?” Ikuya sighed, again, exhausted from the lack of sleep.

“He says you need to talk to him and you need to reply because ‘you’re always on your phone’.”

“What the fuck, so is he?”

“Can you reply? Make it sound like me, I’m casual… I tried very hard to seem like I knew how to speak, but I am super casual with him if you scroll up you can see.”

“Uh, Okay… hmm,” Hiyori is trying to see the texts above, and he smiles when he sees Ikuya texted his brother a couple days ago about him… He spelled instagram wrong, how cute, he thinks to himself.

Hiyori moves his body to facilitate his typing but is careful to make sure Ikuya isn’t too uncomfortable below him.

🙄Natsu-Nii🙅  
  
**Today** 11:35 AM  
Yo! what are you doing right now? We need to talk.  
Ikuya, please respond i know you’re on your phone. You’re always on it.  
im trying to sleep i didn’t sleep last night.  
  


Hiyori wonders if that was too casual? Probably not, Ikuya tends to have typos.

A vibration at his fingers. That was fast? Who’s always on their phone then?

🙄Natsu-Nii🙅  
  
Yo! what are you doing right now? We need to talk.  
Ikuya, please respond i know you’re on your phone. You’re always on it.  
im trying to sleep i didn’t sleep last night.  
  
please take better care of yourself.  


Hiyori looks at the screen with melancholy. Ikuya clearly doesn’t care for himself, he didn’t sleep at all last night, and unbeknownst to Hiyori, he didn’t shower either. Self care and self love go hand and hand. Ikuya also hasn’t eaten in a while. Self hate means not caring, this hurts Hiyori to think about. He can be the same way.

Self loathing. Self hate. Fear of what others think. Negative opinions out weighing the positive. It sculpts your brain in a horrible way. Social media is addicting. The validation one can receive is great and causes a high but is it worth it? 1000 great and positive comments… and 1 negative one can make you want to die.

Is it worth it? Hiyori sighs and relaxes into Ikuya.

~✖⛧♡⛧✖~

I feel Hiyori shift over me a bit and hear a knock at my door. What time is it? Who is at the door?

God, I just wanna sleep longer.

“Hiyori, stop, don’t answer it, I want to sleep like this a little longer,” My sleepy words worked he adjusted into me, “It’s probably Natsu-nii and Nao, they have a card.”

The door opened. Bingo, knew it. Who else was it gonna be? The police? Yeah right.

“Ikuya get up. Huh?” Natsu-nii walks towards the bed and uncovers Hiyori and me. Hiyori is basically on top of me like he’s my blanket. My brother immediately covers us back up and I hear Nao laugh from near the door.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to disturb whatever that is, but I would love to talk to my brother for a moment alone with Nao, if that’s okay?” He says.

“I’m comfortable, just tell me here, Hiyori is making me happy and warm. Don’t take him away.”

“It’s serious.”

“Did someone die? Mom? Dad?”

“No, but it’s about you and how you behave...” His voice was hesitant and scared. I’m a brat. I’m spoiled and act weird and lash out. I distance myself and my emotions show very easily. I have flaws that I focus on. But I’m me, I am no one else. Can I change? Will I change? If it’s possible how do I change?

“Hiyori already knows I’m a brat, roast me, go on.”

“Me and Nao are worried because of your low self-esteem, you also haven’t been sleeping right have you? It’s literally early evening and you have a boy in your bed sleeping like it’s 3 am.”

“‘Nao and I’ is the proper way of saying it,” Hiyori’s sass is not only funny but a huge turn on. It’s heightened because he’s also on top of me.

“Sorry, I’m not great at talking or whatever, stop interrupting me,” Natsu-nii’s sass is annoying though. Don’t sass my man. He’ll bite twice as hard.

“No.”

Haha, short and sweet.

“Ikuya! Tell him to stop interrupting me,” My brother is definitely annoyed and I bet Nao is amused by all of this.

“He’s so hot when he sasses you back, and his voice is better than yours anyway,” I say, it was muffled into Hiyori’s body.

“He clearly doesn’t wanna have this talk right now, at least we know he’s in good hands.” Nao is a fucking life saver, thanks Nao, sorry but… leave. Take your dumb lover and go!

“Good hands? How do I know that?”

“I’m happy right now and you’re ruining everything,” I say in the brattiest tone I can muster, as my face is squished, it’s making it hard. But honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way!

“Sorry, I ruin everything for you, huh?”

Is my brother getting vulnerable or being manipulative? I can’t decide. He says things without thinking out of his heart AND ass. I doubt he means bad but the phrase is pretty shitty.

“Hiyori, get off me,” I’ve had enough if he wants to talk… we will fucking talk.

He gets off me and I feel 100 times worse than before, I really need touch to feel happy. Why is that? Touch is clearly all I need? Fuck everything else I guess?

“What?” I’m sassy, bratty and annoyed and I show it, “What do you need to say?” Yeah, it’s really showing. I hold back all I want to say though.

“You just need to learn to want to get better is all,” Natsu-nii is stern. His eyes are cold? I can’t tell anymore if he’s trying to act like a parent or if he’s fed up with me and my antics?

“What Natsuya is trying to say,” Nao steps further in, he’s so respectable, he definitely cares at least from what I can tell, “is that we worry about you,” Does he? “We know you have some dark thoughts sometimes and we know you can’t get better without wanting to get better,” What? What does that even mean? “All we want is for you to be happy and healthy, Ikuya,”

“You,” I try to say something but I can’t find the words. I’m confused by what he means.

“Ikuya, for a while,” Nao sighs between breaths and words, “We can’t allow you on social media, we were thinking… maybe social media is affecting you badly.”

“What else will I do?” I reply.

Natsu-nii and Hiyori are silent. I’m confused? Why does social media have to be taken from me? What does ‘wanting to get better to be better’ even mean? I’m so fucking lost and I wanna cry. It’s like they’re grounding me? I’m an adult. I shouldn’t have to deal with them like this.

“I’m literally an adult, you can’t ground me?” I’m frustrated… clearly.

“Can I say something?” Hiyori speaks up.

“Yes, please,” I swing around to see his sorrowful face.

“I’ve been thinking about that too?” What is he getting at? “About disconnecting? From social media, I see things on it that I can’t have or achieve and suddenly I feel bad you know?” I mean? I guess? “Ikuya, do you ever see something on Instagram or twitter that makes you wanna just vanish?” Yes… all the time! “I do… I see the hate comments you get, it has to be hard that’s why I think… they may have a point? I can disconnect with you, so you won’t be alone?” Disconnect, huh? Maybe…?

“So, you’ll listen to him but not us when we say it?” My older brother laughs out of defeat I assume.

“He made it clearer and he said something more relatable instead of talking like an overprotective mother,” I say back.

Both Nao and my brother look content with what has played out. I look at my phone “Are you gonna like,” I pause for a second, “straight up take it away from me?”

“No, we need to contact you via text still, and you should still text Hiyori to be able to meet up with him, you’re now dating right,” we nod, “That’s nice and I’m happy for you both and wish you the best,”

“What we wanna do is get permission to change your passwords so you can’t log in then delete the app for 10 days, tell you the new password so you can get back on after the time is up,” My brother says to me.

“C-can I at least make a post talking about taking a small break?” I ask…

“Yeah, we kinda expected that you’d wanna let people know,” Nao says with a warm smile.

“Thanks,”

sad.mess **20,217** likes  
**sad.mess** i’m taking a break for a while, my boyfriend and i will miss you lovelies~  View all 108 comments December 2, 2013

I guess I’m disconnecting. Hiyori is too, huh? 10 days? We’ll see…

Instagram, password changed. App deleted.

Twitter, password changed. App deleted.

Let’s disconnect together, Hiyori!


	9. Filthy Virgin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ✖⛧✖⛧✖ - Point of View switch!  
> ~•⛧♡⛧•~ - Time Change only, same POV as before!  
> ~✖⛧♡⛧✖~ - Both POV and Time Change!  
> (I do NOT apologize for their thirsty virgin flirting)

Hiyori, let’s disconnect. Let’s figure shit out. Let’s understand each other and ourselves. Hiyori…

~✖⛧♡⛧✖~

Both Ikuya and Hiyori are aware the beginning is gonna be the hardest. Hiyori had to tweet from his business’ twitter that he’s taking a break from posting but they’re still open. Ikuya also made a tweet mentioning his test.

The two of them have high hopes, and think maybe this can be part of a solution at worst. At best, it fully helps them, but they’re not stupid or gullible enough to believe this will be the fix that fixes 100 percent of their problems. They don’t believe that. They set up meeting times specifically to entertain themselves, work things out and get to know each other. Honeymoon phase is in full swing.

It’s Monday, December 3, 2013. They don’t see each other all day, but they text after Hiyori’s double shift is over. He worked from 6 am to 6 pm. He’s exhausted and knows Ikuya is the key to relaxing. He needs him. He needs the disconnect from his bad thoughts and exhausted mind and Ikuya is the paradise that he wants to vacation too. Hiyori sends a text.

✨Ikuya💜  
  
**Today** 6:16 PM  
Hey, beautiful, has your day treated you better than it has to me? I worked 12 hours. I’m exhausted. I hope you’re doing well! Hope you text back soon!  
  
  


✨Ikuya💜  
  
**Today** 6:16 PM  
Hey, beautiful, has your day treated you better than it has to me? I worked 12 hours. I’m exhausted. I hope you’re doing well! Hope you text back soon!  
Hey! Yeah it was good, Nao and my brother took me to sightsee and I barely used my phone. I only used it to take a few selfies. Sorry to hear your day was exhausting, I’m here now though! ;p  
  
  


✨Ikuya💜  
  
Hey! Yeah it was good, Nao and my brother took me to sightsee and I barely used my phone. I only used it to take a few selfies. Sorry to hear your day was exhausting, I’m here now though! ;p  
You’re what I’ve waited for! I’m so lucky!  
  
  


✨Ikuya💜  
  
Hey! Yeah it was good, Nao and my brother took me to sightsee and I barely used my phone. I only used it to take a few selfies. Sorry to hear your day was exhausting, I’m here now though! ;p  
You’re what I’ve waited for! I’m so lucky!  
I think I’m the lucky one!  
  
  


The flirting continued for a couple of hours, the boys exchanged selfies of themselves in the current moment. Ikuya may or may not have convinced Hiyori to send him a shirtless selfie, and Ikuya may or may not have saved it. Hiyori may have wanted one as well, and Ikuya may have more than delivered.

Day one, overall, was stressful for Hiyori due to the sheer chaos of his work hours and rather easy one Ikuya. Hiyori luckily set his schedule to be more lenient for the rest of the week and he’s appreciative of his assistant manager, Kisumi. He’s been taking more and longer shifts the past week and is actually really thrilled Hiyori has a love interest. Kisumi and Hiyori have a nice history, both will cover for the other for any reason at all. Even something simple like getting a boyfriend. Both Kisumi and Hiyori love their jobs and love the bakery. Hiyori chose Kisumi to hire for a reason.

Here’s to day 2?

~•⛧♡⛧•~

“Oh, welcome!” Hiyori smiles wide at the sight of Ikuya entering the building. The sight is refreshing. It’s almost 11 am and Hiyori’s shift ends at that time, Ikuya is just on time. He planned on that Ikuya down to a different city as a small little road trip. For December the weather is nice. The snow that was on the ground melted and it’s sunny. A perfect day to hit the next big city, 3 and a half hours away!

“Hi, I’m so excited,” Ikuya says going to the counter.

He’s dressed really nicely, and Hiyori is soft for him. Hiyori isn’t planning on changing out of his oversized green cable-knit sweater, but he feels like he’s underdressed. Ikuya always has… interesting fashion choices. He clearly has more feminine clothes. He thinks it’s endearing, and very cute and quirky. He’s actually seen Ikuya’s array of clothes one night. He has so many for someone who travels and doesn’t have a closet. He owns skirts and dresses too, and he also wears makeup and has feminine accessories. All of this is so adorable to Hiyori, and it’s rather brave of Ikuya to say ‘fuck you’ to gender stereotypes. He’s more than soft for him.

“You look so cute,” Hiyori’s eyes smiled with his actual smile. He’s a ray of sunshine.

“Awe, thanks, I think those pants look great on you,” Ikuya rested his elbow on the counter and flirted as he saw Hiyori’s backside for a split second.

“Get out of here and flirt and stuff elsewhere,” Kisumi winked and nudged Hiyori.

“Haha, Okay, Ikuya let’s go,” Hiyori took off his apron and tapped on the screen at the counter to clock out.

“Mhm,” Ikuya's voice got higher. It was jarring and adorable since his voice is rather low. His voice doesn’t really match his looks at all, but that’s actually another quirk Hiyori adores about him.

Ikuya is guided out of the store by Hiyori who links his arm. With a wave from Kisumi, they leave and all is bliss.

Day 2 is only just beginning.

“My car is this way,” Hiyori walks with Ikuya. He’s trotting along with pure delight. Hiyori actually knows a few places he wants to take Ikuya to. One being a cat cafe. Everything will be a surprise, of course.

“Are you sure you don’t want to tell me where we’re going?” Ikuya laughs, he’s trying his best to sound flirty.

“I want it to be a surprise, but trust me, you’ll love it!” Hiyori’s voice is full of so much enthusiasm, he causes fires to ignite inside Ikuya. He’s excited, more than before.

~•⛧♡⛧•~

“Can I plug in my phone to play music? I only showed you a few songs,” Ikuya says, “If that’s okay?”

Hiyori’s lips pucker at how cute Ikuya is being, “Of course it’s okay.”

“Okay,” Ikuya’s deep but velvet voice was kind, he’s trying to learn to not argue. He’s trying to learn to believe people and see their side. Why would Hiyori be upset at him playing music? He wouldn’t. It’s silly to think otherwise? He’s trying and he’s learning.

“Oh, this one is nice!” Ikuya says as a song plays, it’s upbeat and popish rock sounding? The woman’s voice is sweet yet rough. He knows Ikuya has shown him this singer before… The voice is specific and amazing enough for him to remember. He likes it but doesn’t want to admit it just yet.

“It’s upbeat but the lyrics are kinda...” Hiyori hesitates a bit “Different? Heh,” He’s amused.

“This is my favorite album I swear, it’s great, the whole art of everything is played out so nice,” Ikuya smiles with his teeth, Hiyori glances to see him. Stunning, he thinks to himself. His eyes go back to the road. They’re on the highway.

Soon enough Ikuya sings along, Hiyori can tell he has the right tone and keys. He’s curious about Ikuya’s singing voice… it’s so tempting… just… turn off the music by pressing the volume button in… he’s… tempted…

Push.

“All I ever wanted was the wo-” Ikuya stopped and blushed harder than he’s ever before, “Hey!! What the fuck?”

Hiyori laughs, “Wow I love your voice, I could hear you hitting the keys just right, I wanted to hear you.”

Ikuya, still blushing, “You freaked me out and now I’m embarrassed.” Ikuya wanted to smack Hiyori’s arm but he’s driving, and that would be very dangerous. Self-control? Since when?

“Your face and body are beautiful but so is your singing voice, who knew? A triple threat of the senses,” Hiyori says, flirting, trying his best to lower his voice to sound sexy. It works, Ikuya is secretly trying not to scream out of horny frustration. Compliments in that tone of voice are new.

Will compliments from loved ones raise one’s self-esteem? Will reassuring love and affection raise one’s self-esteem? Can you gain self-esteem from online praise alone? Can you gain self-esteem from strangers compliments? So many questions run through Ikuya and Hiyori’s heads. Their confidence is like a tipping scale. It rises and falls, and when it falls, it falls hard. 

“Can you sing?” Ikuya asks.

“I dunno,” Hiyori laughs, keeping his eyes on the road. He’s nervous now, is this payback?

“I wanna hear you sing!” Ikuya cheers. This vibe, this aura that Ikuya is giving off right after being so embarrassed. Like a light switch had been flipped from off to on, it’s warming and sweet. Hiyori is happy Ikuya isn’t mad at him, he bites his cheek though, he’s never sang in front of someone, “Please?” Ikuya bats his long eyelashes despite Hiyori’s focus on the road.

“Can I do it later?”

“Maybe I wanna be serenaded right now by the hottest guy on Earth?”

“That’s overkill.”

“What I want, is you over me in bed.”

“Okay, I take back the last one, that one was overkill,” Hiyori laughs at Ikuya’s thirsty flirting.

“Sorry for trying,” Ikuya crosses his arms, his bratty attitude will never get old to Hiyori.

“You’re so hot when you act like that,” Hiyori states matter-of-factly, “I’m so turned on,” He laughs.

“I don’t want my first time being in a car without lube or condoms, sorry, you can’t have this yet,” Ikuya sasses.

“That’s fine, I’ll take you later,” Hiyori’s voice cracks, insecurity? Being unsure? Scared of his first time? Who knows. Ikuya picked up on it and took action. Hiyori was about to get roasted.

“With voice cracks like that, it seems I’d take you, you bottom,” He smirks.

“I’d allow it, well more than allow it, I’d enjoy it very much.”

“Good!”

The boys giggle and turn the music back up.


	10. Paws and Prayers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ✖⛧✖⛧✖ - Point of View switch!  
> ~•⛧♡⛧•~ - Time Change only, same POV as before!  
> ~✖⛧♡⛧✖~ - Both POV and Time Change!  
> (Sage, the cat cafe worker is based on @Sagesprouts, yes, you're correct. They're happy to be involved in the fic!)  
> (The cats featured are: Lucky, She is my cat! Her @ on Instagram is Luckygirl.2004, The second one Flossy is twitter user @isohara's aunt's cat, Tsouky belongs to @stingray.cosplays on Instagram, Remi is actually a cat Sage owns!)

“Aw! Hiyori! This is so sweet,” Ikuya says with sugar in his tone. He’s never been to a cat cafe, and he’s excited.

“I remember you said you loved cats and I know you like coffee, well,” Hiyori laughs a bit, “sugary whipped disaster with some coffee in it.”

Ikuya laughs in return, Hiyori isn’t wrong. Ikuya hates regular coffee, he needs sweet flavors mixed into it.

“Yeah, you’re not wrong.” He links his arm. Ikuya and Hiyori’s confidence has been boosted significantly since Monday alone. They sometimes forget the real world can be unforgiving. The real world can be just as mean, especially since they’re foreign minorities who aren’t straight at all. They forget that since they were stuck in ‘online is reality’ mindset. They don’t care what others think though, at this moment, all they know is they really enjoy each others’ presence.

“We can get the hour one if that’s okay with you?” Hiyori asks, the cat cafe comes with 3 options. The hour was the better one. Ikuya nods in response, he’s just excited to play with kitties and be next to Hiyori while he plays with kitties.

Hiyori and Ikuya sign a paper, wash their hands and are guided to the room of cats. Ikuya gasps, he’s so excited. They’re so many of them around him, he knows he has to take pictures so he can post them after he gets his account back. He looks around him, to the cat exercise wheel, to the kitty highway above him on the walls, the little ladder on the doorway, the bean bag chairs and benches. And of course to all the cats around him. He sees a pretty black and orange cat and he springs into action. He holds Hiyori’s hand and guides him to her.

“What’s her name?” Hiyori says to the pretty lady with silver hair and glasses watching over the guests, it’s to ensure safety. Ikuya adores the outfit the worker is wearing.

“Her name is Lucky,” She replies as Ikuya pets her and scratches her chin. He’s bent down resting in a crouch position, Hiyori decided to just sit on the floor like a civilized human.

“She’s so sweet, I love her, I’d die for her,” Ikuya says in the sweetest highest voice he can. Hiyori smiles like a dork at him, admiring his baby talk.

“Isn’t she? She’s almost 16 years old! She’s old and very laid back,” The worker replies, she smiles to Hiyori since Ikuya is preoccupied with petting Lucky.

“Haha, this cat is really fat, I like her, what’s her name,” Hiyori leans over to grab a long-haired black and white kitty and set her on his lap to pet.

“Her name is Flossy, she’s sweet but doesn’t really like women,” She laughs causing Ikuya to smile, very contagious.

“She’s so cute and fat, I adore her,” Hiyori rubs the itchy triangles.

“Hiyori,” Ikuya says holding up Lucky, “Can we please keep her, I’m gonna cry she’s so sweet and I wanna love her forever!” His eyes are soft and convincing. Hiyori has always wanted a cat and his apartment complex allows one pet. He very much could oblige. 

“Honestly, I’d love a pet, we have more to do so I’ll think about it!” He laughs still rubbing Flossy’s triangles.

“Oh, I didn’t know that would work! I want Lucky, she’s my first love, sorry Hiyori!” Ikuya’s body is filled with excitement. No cell left untouched.

Hiyori laughs and shakes his head, “No! We’re taking that one over there,” Hiyori pointed at the white and orange creamsicle sitting upright like a human against a wall. Ikuya looks at him and laughs.

“What’s his name, he’s fluffy and hilarious!” He’s still laughing.

“His name is Tsouky and he’s a queen,” She laughs as she stands up to bring him to the boys. “He loves attention but also hates it, watch this,” She sets him down and he flops over causing both Hiyori and Ikuya to laugh.

“Drama queen! Same, honestly,” Ikuya reaches to pet his overly fluffy belly and Tsouky allows it for a few moments then starts kicking his arm, Ikuya laughs and thinks it’s very cute.

“I’d die for this one too,” His smile illuminates the universe. It’s clear Ikuya is sincerely really happy and Hiyori is so thrilled.

A pretty hefty black cat comes up behind Ikuya and rubs onto him, he reaches around to pet him, the black cat is thrilled about his touch and trills. His heart melts.

“Awe, what’s this one’s name, he likes me,” Ikuya is still petting the black cat and Tsouky’s belly, Tsouky is making absolutely no effort to flip over to stop the belly rubs.

“That’s Remi, he’s such a chill dude,” She said, she's happy the two are invested in the cafe's cats.

“I love him too,” He says, reaching his other hand to him away from Tsouky.

“I think many of these cats love you too, Ikuya,” Hiyori says leaning closer to him to pet the cat that’s on his lap.

Ikuya remembers there are many more cats, he sees gray ones, a siamese one, more torties, and orange boys. He sees a pure white one and he heads towards him.

“I love you,” Ikuya whispers to the cat, he whips out his phone and starts taking his picture. “I love you so much!”

“I love you too,” Hiyori says from behind, Ikuya turns faster than the speed of light, he blushes.

“Shush,” Ikuya is ‘being a photographer.’ Hiyori laughs at how cute he is.

“That’s my job lemme show you,” Ikuya remembers, oh yeah… he’s skilled in this. He’s taken his picture a couple of times now. Hiyori takes Ikuya’s phone and angles himself. “Be patient,” He waits… Snaps a picture and shows Ikuya. The image is clear and precious. “See?”

“Ooo, nice, you captured such a good one, he looks so soft here!” Ikuya was excited over something so simple and Hiyori was watching Ikuya’s happy dance with utter admiration. He’s so weak for Ikuya. It’s obvious.

“Don’t worry it’s nothing,” Hiyori waves Ikuya’s compliment off, and Ikuya pouts.

“You have a skill, take the compliment,” The smaller male nudged Hiyori slightly.

Hiyori realizes he’s right, he took the photo and it looked nice. Compliments no matter what shape should be accepted, especially ones by his boyfriend. Ikuya says what’s on his mind usually, he’s not a liar and he doesn’t extend the truth to add fluff to it. He’s genuine. He’s honest. He’s kind and Hiyori knows that.

He shakes his head, “Sorry, you’re absolutely correct, thank you,”

“Now that that’s out of the way, can we take home Lucky?” Ikuya goes to find her and lifts her, exposing her black and orange belly. She has one tiny white spot too. Cute! He walks back to Hiyori, his eyes begging.

Hiyori pets her and nods. Does Ikuya want to move in? He said… take her home? To whose home? Obviously Hiyori’s.

“I wanna take you home first,” Hiyori laughs.

“I wanna call it home too.”

The worker with silver hair kept up a nice conversation with them both and helped with adoption. All three expressed feelings of passion towards cats and they exchanged social media accounts. Ikuya and Hiyori made sure to tell her that they're taking hiatus, she's completely understanding. Even so, all three are excited to keep in touch.

~•⛧♡⛧•~ 

“This coffee is really good,” Ikuya’s smile made the whole room illuminate. Hiyori rests his cheek on his palm and admires Ikuya who is sitting next to him. “Can I try yours?” He looks at Hiyori’s cup. Ikuya knows what’s in it this time, Hiyori was given the ingredients. He thinks he may like it.

“Sure,” Hiyori allows Ikuya to grasp it and he watches Ikuya lift it to his lips and take a sip, “Well?”

“It’s pretty good, mine is better, wanna try?” Ikuya places his cup in front of Hiyori with no hesitation. 

“Of course,” Hiyori tastes a sip, Ikuya usually orders iced coffees, today was no different. Even in the dead of winter, he prefers iced to hot.

“It’s very sweet,” Hiyori chuckles, Ikuya smiles and agrees with him. It’s known Ikuya is a sweet tooth.

~✖⛧♡⛧✖~

“I can’t believe you got me, Lucky! She’s such a baby,” I say as I look back at her in the little cage. We did other things today, including… buying that cage to take her home. A bunch of paperwork he had to sign and stuff. I co-signed. Does he want me to move in and help with Lucky?

“I’ve been thinking about getting a cat for a few months, my place allows one pet,” He laughs, he’s so cute and I’m happy he chose the one I liked the most. Her markings are very pretty! She reminds me of Halloween, “Our place allows one pet,” He turned to wink at me at the red light… I’m shocked. Our place? He does want me to move in. I nod.

“I’ll need your entire closet space because I have more with Natsu-nii and Nao actually,” I laugh and he shakes his head.

“You’ve seen my closet, it’s not full at all I’m sure you can use some of it at least and the other bedroom which I have just… junk in, we can organize hah,” 

Junk? Yeah, I noticed he had 2 bedrooms. I wonder what kinda junk? He’s a reader maybe piles of books? What a nerd.

~✖⛧♡⛧✖~

“When do you think you can move in?” I ask, petting Lucky who surprisingly adjusted immediately. She’s an old cat so it’s surprising unless she was craving a secure place. Can she tell this is her new forever home?

“Soon maybe? I dunno, I’ve never moved like this before? I’m half homeless half everywhere is my home if I choose if that makes sense?”

“I mean, I can help Nao and Natsuya bring your things here? That’s all, I just add you to my lease, it’s not a big deal,” I reply. Why is he nervous? Is he scared? Do I scare him or is he afraid of leaving his old traveling life behind? I still haven’t told him that I come from a really wealthy family. I’d love to travel with him if that’s a thing that makes him happy. Travelling is very fun and interesting. “Are you afraid of moving in? Why?” I say gentle, non-accusatory to not upset Ikuya.

“I guess maybe I’m not used to stable living and because I’ll miss them both,” He joins in on petting Lucky. She’s purring softly. “I haven’t had a stable house in a while.”

“I mean this small town isn’t Los Angeles, New York, or anything,” I laugh, “I know you deserve big things but maybe you can settle here for a bit,” I hesitate, “Stay with me?” I look at him, he’s kinda shocked, it’s cute.

“I mean I’d love to and I want to, I’m scared I guess but you can help me, right?” He smiles, yes of course I’ll help. I’ll be here with you, for you, and I’ll help you.

Day 2 of disconnecting was surprisingly easy. Throughout the night Ikuya and I talk about making Lucky an Instagram because she is so precious and has a major attitude.


	11. Sweet Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ✖⛧✖⛧✖ - Point of View switch!  
> ~•⛧♡⛧•~ - Time Change only, same POV as before!  
> ~✖⛧♡⛧✖~ - Both POV and Time Change!  
> (The boys have a compliment 'fight', be ready this is kinda fluffy and sweet like sugar.)

Day 3 and 4 of disconnecting were long and boring, especially for Hiyori who barely saw Ikuya. Ikuya was occupied with Natsuya and Nao. Day 5, however, was about to begin and Ikuya was bringing his things to Hiyori’s apartment.

~•⛧♡⛧•~

Ikuya sits on Hiyori’s bed while the three men bring Ikuya’s things to Hiyori’s apartment. Hiyori insisted that Ikuya not lift anything heavy and should relax. While the three men haul his things up, he sits pretty on Hiyori’s bed drinking a frappe.

“You’re working too hard,” Ikuya says right before sipping his sugary drink.

“Barely, how do you actually have this many clothes? We only have a car,” Natsuya jokes.

“It’s an SUV, Nao is a soccer mom, don’t undersell him.” Ikuya is guilty of calling it a car, actually, all of them are guilty of it.

“He’s right, it’s an SUV, car is easier to say for the ‘Lazy Kirishima’s’” Nao comes in from behind to give sass, but he says car too. Ikuya isn’t too pressed but Natsuya gives him a death glare.

“How am I lazy?” Natsuya’s tone is harsh.

“You’re lazy in bed.”

Natsuya turns a bright red while Ikuya tries to hold in his laughter.

“You having fun in here?” Hiyori asks peaking into his room that is total chaos.

“Yeah,” Ikuya says gleefully.

“No,” Natsuya says.

“Yes, don’t listen to Natsuya he got roasted,” Nao says waving his hand and trying not to laugh.

“Good,” Hiyori smiles at Nao.

“Good to being ROASTED?” Natsuya exclaimed.

“I mean,” Hiyori laughed, “Both to you having fun and getting roasted, let’s meet in the middle.”

“I’m out of here, it’s one against three, it’s not fair! Bye!” Natsuya turns around and then halts for a second and looks back, “Take good care of my little brother or I’ll find you when you’re alone and kick your ass.” He says with slight malice.

Nao coughs, “He won’t do it, he’s a pansy, I’ll be the one to kick your ass though,” He smiles, “But you seem very sweet, so I don’t think you’ll have to worry about it.”

Hiyori laughs and nods, “I’ll take really good care of him!”

“Good, we’re done here then,” Nao says walking towards Ikuya to give him a hug. Their embrace was nice but sad. “We’re leaving for the next big city tomorrow.”

“What about my accounts?” Ikuya says pouting.

“We’ll text you the passwords on the 13th, you stupid ding dong,” Natsuya says to Ikuya and Hiyori facepalms. What a childish comeback. He hopes Nao is okay with this idiot… Then Hiyori remembers Ikuya is pretty childish and would say something similar if given the chance. He and Nao have the solidarity of being morosexual. At least his boyfriend is prettier than Nao’s, he thinks to himself.

“Please leave, Natsu-nii, you’re giving Hiyori an aneurysm,” His eyebrows furrow and he causes Hiyori and Nao to chuckle.

“Bye, then,” He goes to exit, “Come on, Nao!”

“Bye, Ikuya, text me if you need anything. Love you,” He hugs him again and rubs his back. Natsuya yells out to stop being such a mom but he can’t help it.

~✖⛧♡⛧✖~

After they leave Ikuya and I start unpacking his things. Lucky is sleeping on my… I mean… our bed… and she looks so cute. Sometimes we have to stop and just look at her.

“I put things in the closet and now it’s full where can I put the rest?” Ikuya asks me, he’s so precious I just cup his cheeks and tell him to follow me. The past two days I cleaned my spare room a lot. It needed dusting and swept mostly. I never really go in there so dust collected pretty bad.

“Oh, this is spacey, I assumed it’d be full of books because you’re so nerdy,” Ikuya says and I just laugh in response. He’s so cute, as well as wrong and correct at once.

“It had a few books but it was also full of random things,” I set some of Ikuya’s things down.

“My clothes are super wrinkly, look! We’ll have to wash them or something to unwrinkle them,” I pat his head as he holds up some of his clothes. 

“You’re so precious, how about you go play with Lucky and I’ll handle it, is there anything else to put away or is it just this set of clothes? Who packed this, it’s a mess,” I ask.

“I assume my idiot brother, Nao would have been careful like I was, remember some of my stuff was with them too?”

“Why wasn’t it already packed nicely?”

“I needed something from it so I actually got things out to look, but I did put things back in it nicely so he may have done it out of spite?”

“That’s weird?” I say back to him.

“Yeah? I’m a neat freak and fold things super nice inside things like this,” He’s just as confused as I am.

Suddenly we hear something fall in the other room and we head over… Lucky had jumped on my desk and knocked over my lamp. How cute and destructive!

“Lucky girl, why are you destroying things?” Ikuya walks over to pet her, he’s so cute and predictable.

~✖⛧♡⛧✖~

“I miss social media,” I say to Hiyori, he’s holding me and there’s music playing in the background, I let him choose his own playlist. I was feeling generous though he’s a total hipster with his music taste.

“I kinda do too, we’re halfway through this though...”

“I’m so bored without those two apps, Hiyori.”

“I’m right here?” His voice was super offended, I tense up.

“Sorry, if my words hurt you,” What I said was dumb and selfish.

He’s right, I could fool around with him or something, but I’m shy. I’d love to but all I can do is kiss and hold him. Anything else is scary and beyond my expertise. Or does he mean talk and stuff?

Social media has consumed my reality and it hurts to say I believe I am addicted but I can see that disconnecting from it is doing me good. I have self-reflection and time to think. My head has been foggy for a while but I think the fog is clearing.

“Wanna just talk about feelings?” I confess, afraid to know what is beyond kissing for us. I’m very shy and scared of the thoughts of physical touch despite craving it like a madman.

“Sure,” Hiyori replies, I fall further into his embrace as he squeezes me.

“I have many insecurities,” This is obvious but it’s how I start my long rant, “I think maybe it’s the negative comments,” I sigh, “Because before I was really confident in the start, I grew fast, like really fast but then the hateful comments came,” I close my eyes to relax my mind, “I started social media as a hobby, but then I blew up and felt like, ‘wow people like me!’ but then people started being mean to me.”

Hiyori starts to rub my back to comfort me I assume, “That makes sense, you’re very beautiful so there has to be some external things happening.”

“Sometimes, I don’t feel pretty despite you and people online saying it,” I confess once more. Another obvious confession, I don’t care much.

“That’s why the hateful comments altered your idea of yourself and became the voices in your head,” Hiyori’s words came out smooth as silk.

Oh, that’s… what it is?

“What about you, you’re really hot but you’re very insecure. You don’t have that big of a presence online, do you still receive hate?”

“I don’t get comments about my looks at all, I have a few selfies but it’s like 1 or 2 positive comments and nothing else,” Hiyori says as he rustles my hair a bit.

“Then why are you insecure?” I ask him, I’m so confused.

“I compare myself to other guys on social media and I’m never as attractive as they are.”

Oh? That makes sense! We have insecurities for different reasons but both stem from social media.

“If it means anything, Hiyori,” I say into his chest, “I think you’re absolutely stunning and perfect the way you are.”

Can my words help heal his broken self-esteem? Even by one percent?

“It means not only the world but the universe,” Hiyori you’re so damn sappy. I love it!

“Can I also reply with my own sappy compliment?” 

“Go for it,” I say. Here we go...

“When I first laid my eyes on you I was so in awe at how gorgeous you were,” He laughs a bit. He’s clearly embarrassed to say his true feelings, “I had no idea you had a matching personality and I’m very grateful to have you, Ikuya.”

Sappier than a maple tree.

“Shut up, you’re so damn sentimental and fluffy, what the fuck.” I love it though, honestly!

“Ikuya, take the compliment,” He pats my back to encourage me, I sigh.

“Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome,” He squeezes me once more and I’m beyond happy, but I can’t admit that aloud.

~✖⛧♡⛧✖~

After Ikuya and I talked about our social media woes, we complimented each other and it was kinda refreshing to hear another human say nice things face to face. There’s a real disconnect when it comes to strangers complimenting you online. When you’re embracing the person you’re complimenting and who’s complimenting you it’s a whole other feeling. It’s nice though, I feel as if my confidence is rising. Ikuya, who is honestly the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen, complimenting me saying I am attractive? That’s a major confidence booster. I appreciate him. I returned the favor, he deserves to feel pretty and loved.

I gave him compliments about small things at first. I’ve seen things people make fun of him for that I absolutely adore. I swear people pick the silliest things to harass strangers over. I hate it but whatever. I complimented his looks but also his mind and mannerisms. I even complimented his style and make-up. Those aren’t part of your physical body but those things are birthed from your mind and talent. He has a great mind when it comes to that stuff. I’m pretty conservative when it comes to fashion. Natural tones are my favorite and tones of greens are honestly my ultimate favorite colors to dress in. Ikuya even told me green suits me, that’s super nice to hear honestly. But Ikuya likes… bright colors, black, and pastels… It’s such a clash from me and it’s refreshing, like an iced drink on a really hot day.

He complimented me over and over again, he was so shy about it at first, which I have to admit was so freaking cute. He started it off saying ‘I was so hot’ and I thought that was hilarious. I laughed and he shuttered himself by covering up in the blanket so I couldn’t see him as he laid on me. His compliments after that were super sincere though, he even said he liked simple things too, like how affectionate I am and how I’m considerate. He mentioned that he didn’t ask for Lucky but I got her anyway, though I bonded with a different cat. I wanted Lucky because Ikuya fell in love with her. It’s true that if Ikuya wants something I’d bend over backward to help make it happen. I know we’ve only known each other for a week or so but I feel so damn comfortable with him.

What’s that saying? Someone you just met can have your best interest in mind and someone you’ve known for your whole life can cross you in a heartbeat if given the chance. Or something like that I dunno, but I have nothing but good feelings towards him. I want the best for him. I’m the kinda person if you’re kind to me and genuine, I’d die for you. That’s how I am with very few people. I’m not that way with my parents but with people like my coworkers, especially Kisumi and now Ikuya. I think I’d die for Lucky too, she’s a cutie pie.

Ikuya mentioned that he had a few friends back in Japan he misses, but he loved America enough to come back with his brother and Nao. He still texts those friends apparently from time to time. They don’t have his social media accounts because he fears they’ll judge him. A good friend would never do that, though, is what I tell him.

Ikuya wanted to come back though, America is very big. I get it, and I’m happy he did. He wouldn’t have met me. He told me it was a random pit stop. Sheer luck brought us together and honestly, I'm more than glad. I’m in a smaller college town in the Midwest. This isn’t a big city with millions of people. That kinda city is what Ikuya deserves because he’s such a big spirit when you get to know him. He’s shy and awkward especially at first but his soul is vibrant and amazing. He’s a dedicated person, I can tell. He has a mind of a winner but of course… social media harassment… They call it online bullying, it got to him. He admitted he’s going back to his shy routes. Back in Japan, when he was young he was this way, he started coming out of his shell in Middle School when he gained these three friends that he misses. He told me his personality kinda shifted… But he’s been closed off again, like before those friends. Ikuya said he is thankful for me. And I am very much so very thankful for him.

Thank you, Ikuya… for wanting a sweet meal on your way North. You came to me, and I’m grateful and always will be.

~✖⛧♡⛧✖~

It’s morning and the two boys fell asleep in each others’ arms under the covers. It’s 5:02 am, Lucky, their elderly tortie jumps onto the bed waking both of them up. She’s hungry. Ikuya wipes the sand out of his eyes. He apologizes to Hiyori who doesn’t mind at all.

“Lucky girl, are you hungry?” Ikuya’s high pitch voice is so cute. The baby talk he does to her is absolutely heartwarming to Hiyori. The fact Ikuya calls Lucky ‘Lucky’ in English and not anything else is as well, the rest of the words he speaks his native language. They kept her name after they were told her story. They almost changed it but her survival story made them cry, they had to keep her name Lucky. Plus she responds to Lucky, actually. You call her name she comes to you, they definitely could not change it.

“Let’s get you some food! Okay,” Ikuya picks her up, her low meow causes him to giggle. This causes Hiyori to have a silent meltdown in his bed, he’s overloaded on the cuteness of his boyfriend and their cat. He’s completely whipped.

Ikuya headed to the kitchen to find Lucky’s food in a cupboard. They were warned by the nice silver haired lady that she opens cupboards so they had to buy a thing to help keep them closed. She can also open the fridge. She’s very mischievous and rambunctious for a cat that’s 15 years old! She also is super picky with her food which is similar to Ikuya, he's super picky. She only likes expensive kibble. He cracked that joke there at the cat cafe. The silver haired worker, named Sage, was very patient with them both and was patient especially since English wasn’t their first language. Ikuya actually loved Sage’s style and thought she was super kind and friendly and gave her his Instagram because of it. He's excited to get back in touch.

“Lucky girl! Hey, are you ready,” Ikuya says, bending down to feed her, Hiyori had gotten out of bed and is watching from a distance. He’s absolutely in love, Ikuya is the purest human he’s ever met.

Ikuya pours her food into the bowl and she starts eating and crunching. He watches her still crouched down. Hiyori decides to enter the kitchen and greet him, “You’re so cute when you feed her.”

“You’re so cute when you stalk me.”

“I literally live here.”

“Okay, fair I guess.”

They both laugh.


	12. Small Set Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ✖⛧✖⛧✖ - Point of View switch!  
> ~•⛧♡⛧•~ - Time Change only, same POV as before!  
> ~✖⛧♡⛧✖~ - Both POV and Time Change!  
> (This is the longest chapter, grab a tissue and a snack, the boys are emotional roller coasters!!)  
> (No one: ......... Me: THEY'RE DUMB VIRGINS LOOK AT THESE FUCKING VIRGINS! and HOW DUMB AND VIRGIN THE ARE! they're making oUT BUT THEY'RE VIRGINS!!! HAHA STUPID VIRGINS!)  
> (Also Hiyori @ Ikuya like halfway through: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBk0P27QGmc)  
> (irl harassment/slurs/bullying ahead)

Hiyori has to work so I decided to stay in his apartment, I am pretty bored. It’s about 10:25 am and I decide to clean. I dunno when the last time he cleaned some of his things was but I decide to start with his bathtub. Cleaning soothes me, I play some of my favorite music to help occupy my mind. It’s calming to clean things, especially hard surfaces like counters, if you get the right cleaner, it is refreshing. It occupies your mind and is very productive. I don’t care if he cleaned these things yesterday. I wanted to do it. I swept, mopped, vacuumed, scrubbed more. I wash his windows and dust things. I wash the counters and deep clean his stove and oven.

Suddenly it’s 12:58 pm. He gets off at 1 pm. I actually wanted to do laundry but I forgot. Oh well… I’ll start it now. I take some of my clothes that need to be cleaned or de-wrinkled that can go in the washing machine and set them in a basket. I take the detergent and quarters and head downstairs where the washing machines are. I see Hiyori heading up the stairs and he gives me the biggest smile. I smile back shyly.

“I was bored so I cleaned,” I say, almost in an apologetic way.

“Oh?” Hiyori tilts his head.

“Yeah, I deep cleaned things out of sheer boredom, sorry, music is still playing, don’t mind it, I’ll be back.”

Hiyori laughs and allows me to go down around him, what a gentleman. When I reach the washers most are empty, nice. I put in the detergent first and then the clothes. I do it this way for some reason, apparently, people do it the opposite usually. I put in some quarters and press some buttons. It starts and I head upstairs to be with Hiyori, I got a few till it’s done anyway.

“I’m back, how was work?” I say as I close the door.

“ Welcome back, kinda tiring, Kisumi can handle it though, he’s a great worker,” He laughs and walks towards me and wraps his arms around my waist and I blush.

“You made sure Lucky wasn’t in the rooms you cleaned, right? The fumes can damage her lungs,” He said with concern.

“Yeah, I also opened the windows for a bit to allow the air to neutralize,” I say and he pats my head.

“You’re a great cat mom,” He laughs and then kisses my forehead. I protest that mom comment. He laughs more. I guess I’m not too mad about it.

~•⛧♡⛧•~

“Do you think people are mean to me out of jealousy or because they actually hate me,” Ikuya asks Hiyori, “Natsu-nii says it’s jealousy but I dunno.”

“Hm...” Hiyori hums, “Both? Maybe they’re jealous about something you have or because of how you look and that’s why they hate you because they can’t be you or be like you?” Hiyori rests his hand on Ikuya’s thigh. They’re both watching a movie on Hiyori’s laptop and both aren’t paying that much attention. 

“I guess that makes sense, have you ever felt that way?” Ikuya asks, vulnerable as hell.

“Not really. I get jealous of hot guys online but it doesn’t cause me to hate them or leave hateful comments,” Hiyori sighs and pauses the movie by pressing the spacebar, “It makes me hate myself, not them. I mentioned that last night. So I leave the hate to myself in my mind and heart, they don’t deserve hate for being attractive.” 

Hiyori wouldn’t leave hate comments unless it’s replying to hate comments like on Ikuya’s profile. He left several over the course of two days. He can’t right now because he wants to disconnect with Ikuya. Hiyori is Ikuya’s white knight.

“You’re such a good person, I left hate once but it was because someone was mean to Nao,” Ikuya pauses, “Kinda like how you defended me, I’ve seen Nao and Natsu-nii defend me.”

“That’s fine, you defended your mom,” Hiyori laughed when he said mom, Ikuya did too. Nao very much is his mom! “If the criteria for hate comments is defending then, yes, I have left hundreds of hate comments.”

“Yeah I guess, I wanna be better though,” Ikuya confesses.

“Everyone changes every day. You get better and so do I,” Hiyori’s words touch Ikuya’s heart and heal it. He’s correct and Ikuya knows it. Most people learn and grow and get better. Some people… fall and become bitter and hateful. He refuses to allow himself to become a bad person. He wants to be good. He wants to inspire others to be better too! Hiyori also wants to be kinder and inspire people to be good members of society. Ikuya refuses to be ordinary.

“Thanks for that,” Ikuya smiles and looks to his lap where Hiyori’s hand still lays on his thigh.

“You’re welcome, do you need the distraction, you wanna continue watching the movie?”

“Nah, I was barely paying attention. I’m so sorry. I’m spacing out a lot,” Ikuya scrunches up and feels guilty, but Hiyori was kinda the same way. He zoned out a few times. He thinks Ikuya feeling the need to apologize for something so damn trivial is so cute. What a kind soul. He doesn’t know it but Hiyori believes Ikuya is kinder than himself.

“No need to be sorry, zoning out happens all the time, I zoned out a bit too,” He says and squeezes Ikuya’s thigh. Hiyori braces himself for his next question, “Wanna make out?” He says with utter confidence, this shocks Ikuya and he blushes profusely. 

“Uh,” He averts his eyes, “Sure?”

“Can you say that with more confidence, please?” Hiyori grabs his chin, his face just a couple of inches from each other.

“Yes,” Ikuya says with utter certainty. Hiyori swoons at the confidence he choked up. He closes his laptop and sets it on the table in the middle of his floor and jumps to be on top of Ikuya to make out. Both boys are idiotic virgins and they can’t help it.

~•⛧♡⛧•~

“You’re so good at kissing honestly, I swear you’ve done it before,” Hiyori laughs.

“Yeah, I can say the same for you,” Ikuya teases back.

“Thank you, I guess we’re both naturally good kissers?” Hiyori wraps his arm around Ikuya’s waist and pulls him closer to him. They both chuckle and Ikuya looks over at Hiyori’s clock on the wall above his desk.

“It’s 7 pm somehow? What the fuck happened to the time?” Ikuya laughs, “What do we do now?”

“I dunno let’s do cat dad things,” Hiyori says, and Ikuya agrees with a nod.

Soon enough they spring into action, they clean her litter box, fill her bowl and water dish they knew to keep far apart. Cats are weird about them being far apart. After Lucky is done with her necessities she climbs the cat tree. Hiyori bought one a couple days prior to this and it’s not the biggest one but it’ll do for now. They’ll spoil her in no time.

“She’s such a baby,” Ikuya scrunches his face in utter admiration at the sight of her on the cat tree, “I wanna play with her!”

He grabs one of the toys, she’s picky about toys too, they were told by Sage.

“Come get it!” Ikuya exclaims as he waves it in the air in front of her and around her. She’s interested but lazy, “You fatty, you gotta hunt and move,” Ikuya laughs. Lucky is actually pretty chubby. One of the best things about her, one of the quirks that caused Ikuya to fall for her specifically. Her resting bitch face was another, and her affection and markings are other reasons.

“Lemme show you,” Hiyori takes the toy from Ikuya. Ikuya observes Hiyori.

“Lucky girl, look,” He waves it a little harder and more with jerking motions. Lucky is more invested and she starts moving her head. She’s interested more now. Ikuya pouts but finds Hiyori’s movements and playing adorable. He will not complain. Ikuya is learning a lot just by watching him.

Soon enough she’s trying to hunt it and Ikuya and Hiyori are absolutely soft, “What a cutie,” Ikuya says with absolute heart eyes, “I really wanna make an Instagram for her, if you don’t mind!” 

“I think I wanna help with it,” Hiyori says still playing with Lucky.

“What should her @ be?” Ikuya ponders.

“We’ll think of one later, we’re not done with our hiatus,” Hiyori’s movements are broad and engaging. He jerks the toy in a way that really catches Lucky’s attention. Ikuya is mentally taking notes.

“Right, haha,” Ikuya chuckles, still watching his boyfriend play with Lucky. It’s so fun and cute to watch, he sits on his loveseat to watch. His face is priceless every time Hiyori catches a glimpse of him.

~•⛧♡⛧•~

Day 7 and 8 were normal. They went to places, Hiyori worked both days but only short shifts so he could spend time with Ikuya. Day 9 however he had the whole day off. He wanted to take Ikuya exploring somewhere new.

“Where is a place you’ve never been,” Hiyori hands Ikuya his phone on maps.

“Hmm...” Ikuya is deep in thought, he’s been to so many places, “The closest place I’ve never been is this place, it’s the only big city that’s close.” Ikuya points and Hiyori nods. It’s a far drive but not that bad, they just drove further the other day, he hurries to see what the city offers… He’s searching and searching. He finds a couple of things they can do. One more tailored towards him, another Ikuya will love very much. He puts a GPS on… 2 hours and 11 minute drive, huh? No big deal!

“Get ready, look cute,” He says to Ikuya who nods and goes to get dressed.

~✖⛧♡⛧✖~

“I’m ready!” Ikuya exclaims.

He looks adorable, it’s colder right now and I warned him of it. He decided to wear a cute long sweater dress that hits the middle of his thighs with really thick cotton tights. I love his feminine style actually. I think it’s endearing. Again, I wish I was that brave. Also brave because it’s very very cold out. Especially since it’s only early December. Midwest USA weather is very weird. I am used to it. I moved here for a couple reasons. I signed up for this.

“You’re gonna be so cold,” I laugh, I’m more prepared.

“You can warm me up, babe,” Ikuya puts his arms around the back of my neck and kisses me. I’m shocked but enjoy the gesture and melt into his kiss. I put my hands on his hips and melt more into the kiss.

Soon enough, we hear a meow, “Oh, Lucky! I already fed you but Kisumi will come up later to feed you too,” I release Ikuya and he releases me, I pet her and I can hear Ikuya laugh from above me, “What?”

“Nothing, you’re just really soft and cute,” He continues to laugh softly and tries to hide his face.

“Thanks, shall we head out?” I ask, Ikuya nods and we choose a pair of shoes and soon enough we’re on our way to the next city.

~✖⛧♡⛧✖~

It’s very cold, Hiyori was right. I half regret the outfit but I’m rocking it. I chose a warm coat but still, my legs are cold. I’m rather thin, my legs are smaller so they get cold fast. Luckily my tights are cotton. I also put on a pair of socks to keep my feet extra warm despite tights being footed. My socks are unable to be seen because I’m wearing boots… doc martens actually. Hiyori said I look edgy with them on. Good. Edgy is what I go for most of the time. Did I mention it’s very cold?

“Can we listen to my playlist this time,” I ask with puppy dog eyes.

“Of course, babe!” He smiles at me, he’s warming up the car, it needs to warm up before you start driving. Even I know this and I can’t drive.

I start my favorite playlist and we sit in silence for a bit, I decide to put on my seat belt on and I sigh. What is he planning, why did he want us to have nice clothes?

~✖⛧♡⛧✖~

When they arrive in the city Ikuya is excited. Being at a new place excites him to no end! Especially since he has no clue what is about to happen. What did Hiyori plan? He doesn’t know.

“I’m so excited!” Ikuya says, closing Hiyori’s car door.

“Me too, let’s go!” It’s 12:41 pm right now. They decided to make a small pit stop somewhere to take a break earlier, they would have arrived sooner if it wasn’t for that. Hiyori actually hates driving long distances for too long. It gives him anxiety, “I think you’ll like what I have in mind!”

Ikuya made happy noises and attempts to hold Hiyori’s hand but Hiyori wraps his right arm around Ikuya’s waist. Ikuya just smiles at this intimate gesture. He’s beyond happy and so is Hiyori.

They walk like this until they reach a place Hiyori saw and wanted to try. It’s a cafe that has a nice rustic feel. He saw it and fell in love and had to try. It also had some things Ikuya said he likes. 

“To the right, this place is our first stop,” He smiles and guides Ikuya in allowing him to go ahead of him to get out of the cold.

Ikuya looked around and immediately knew Hiyori chose it for the look, it’s nice but not his cup of tea, but he can acknowledge the aesthetic for what it is. He takes a deep breath, finally… warmth. Hiyori comes in behind him and grabs him from behind, “Order anything, it’s on me, babe!” his face is slightly pink from the cold.

“You act like you’re made of money, you’ve been buying a lot of stuff lately, for Lucky and me, and also gas to travel,” Ikuya turns an eyebrow.

“I never told you but,” Hiyori laughs and takes one hand off of Ikuya to rub the back of his neck, he hates the idea of someone liking him for his financial situation, but he feels Ikuya is too genuine for that and likes him enough as himself, “I come from a pretty wealthy family and I have a lot of money because of them.”

“Oh?” Ikuya’s face is still curious, “You’re now telling me? I still wanna at least pay for myself, you’re not my sugar daddy.”

This comment made Hiyori laugh. He nods, allowing Ikuya to have his way. What a stubborn cutie, Hiyori thinks to himself.

They eventually order their food at the counter and sit down. Hiyori chose a nice place for them to sit. Ikuya sits down and Hiyori goes to grab their food and drinks.

When Hiyori brings their food back Ikuya’s curiosity gets the best of him, “How wealthy is your family if you get some of the wealth?” Ikuya doesn’t want to sound like a gold digger but all he knows is Hiyori mentioned his relationship with his parents is rather… odd?

“They both work for their wealth in a good-paying profession,” He takes a sip of his coffee.

“Oh, what do they do? My mom only worked a simple job, my dad was the one who brought in the wealth. My parents never married but separated when I was in primary school, I took it very personally for some stupid reason?”

“They’re doctors,” Hiyori says with sadness in his voice, “They never paid attention to me because they worked so often, they get called in and stuff you know?”

Ikuya nods, “My mom’s job was retail and part-time, so I at least had her around a lot,” Ikuya sighs. He misses his mom, he had a good relationship with her for the most part.

“You also had your brother, I was an only child,” He slouched a bit, “I was always so damn lonely, I never really had friends.”

“Yeah, you know my brother and I had a problem for a little while too, I told you.”

“Yeah, at least you cleared things up, now you get his actions from back then were just misunderstood.”

Both boys have talked about their past but not in too much detail, over the course of their date they decide to share even more information. Get vulnerable and detailed, the more you know about someone the better.

“I used to swim a lot as a kid, me, my brother and a mutual friend, her name was Satomi,” Ikuya starts his sentence in an odd way, but Hiyori is following along, “We wanted to be in the Olympics,” he giggles. Ikuya stopped swimming though in the middle of high school. He was growing stronger but it didn’t satisfy him.

“I used to swim too,” Hiyori is shocked at Ikuya’s statement, he wished he told him sooner, “We should swim together sometime, I haven’t raced in a while,” He laughs.

“I’m not as strong as I used to be,” Ikuya’s body hunches over, “The reason I stopped is that I developed an eating disorder. It caused me to decline very fast, especially in strength.”

Ikuya’s confession of his mental illness hits Hiyori’s heart. He’s told him he has one but he had no idea it’d been this way for a while. And it caused him to lose his dream? Hiyori is hurt but his hurt isn’t directed at Ikuya, no. No one chooses to have a mental illness, no one chooses to suffer like that.

“That’s rough, I’d still like to swim with you, even if it’s not intense,” Hiyori smiles and puts his free hand on Ikuya’s hand. The teal haired boy looks up at Hiyori who’s smiling and smiles himself.

“Sure, nothing intense but if I tell you my old times you better respect me,” He giggles.

“What was your main stroke?” Hiyori is curious. His main is backstroke but freestyle is another one he does well in. The other two… not so much.

“Breaststroke,” Ikuya says with a smile, his heart full of love for swimming, “I also swam the other three, the hardest is butterfly, but I’m really good at freestyle and I was getting good at backstroke. I did the IM usually, it’s very fun.”

“Wow! The IM? You’re truly a visionary, multi-talented, brilliant, incredible, and amazing!!” Hiyori is shocked but also not, he had no idea Ikuya was capable of mastering all four major strokes but it’s not surprising at the same time? Ikuya is someone that once he sets his mind to something he does it and will not stop until he does it perfectly. A perfectionist… Hiyori is the same way.

Ikuya is completely flattered by Hiyori’s words, “Thank you so much,” He wants to cry.   
“I got 1st in nationals in my 2nd year.”

“Really? That’s so incredible!” Hiyori says, and he’s right, Ikuya knows what he was capable of. He was so proud and he still has his trophy. It’s actually still in one of his boxes.

“Yeah, I actually still have my trophy I haven’t taken it out of the one box.”

“When we get home we’ll put it up, it’ll be nice and a reminder of how amazing you are!”

“You mean ‘how amazing I was’,” Ikuya says with melancholy. 

“You’re still amazing but in a different way is all,” Hiyori’s words are sweeter than sugar. Ikuya’s shocked but nods. He has to accept the compliment… he has to accept to learn to love himself.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, babe.”

They had more conversations than just swimming too.

~✖⛧♡⛧✖~

I adjust my sweater dress and tights in the bathroom. I go into the women’s bathroom because I’ve dealt with a lot of harassment in the men’s especially when dressed how I am now and women are so kind and aren’t rude. This place doesn’t have a neutral option so I went with it. I don’t go in there to peak or be pervy, I’m literally a gay man? It’s just more comfortable for me. I’ve only had one bad experience when a woman accused me of being a pervert but I just had to say ‘I was gay and hated being in the men’s room’ and left and tears. I get it, I guess. Usually prefer women’s to men’s but if there are gender-neutral bathrooms I go in there.

This time is different. A middle-aged woman in the bathroom looks at me while I adjust my outfit, hair, and make-up in disgust. Her words haunt me, “Why is a queer using the women’s room?”

I just look at her in disbelief. I’ve been called fag and queer a lot, and both hurt. Both hurt me very much. I can’t even bring myself to verbalize them.

“Because I hate men who treat me bad like you did,” Is all I could muster because I start to cry. I run out, I didn’t wanna hear her rude comments about my Japanese accent, ‘oh you say this funny haha.’ Most people are kind but there are a few twats. I’m sure she’d make fun of me or accuse me of not being an American citizen, which… I kinda am? It’s complicated. My dad is American so it grants me dual citizenship that I’ll have to pick America or Japan very soon. I am still confused about which one to pick. Both are home to me?

Hiyori sees me in tears and asks what’s wrong, he is very aware that I prefer using women’s rooms. He’s used to it now I guess. 

“This old woman was being mean to me, she was being homophobic,” I sob into him a bit. We’re still in the cafe… People are probably staring because I’m crying to my boyfriend while we embrace in a different language. People are weird, not me. It’s them. Not me. We’re ready for the next place but I just messed up the make-up I fixed, he’ll let me fix it in his car maybe?

Soon enough the woman walks out of the restroom and Hiyori is ready to unleash his fury, “Oi, you old hag, why did you make him cry like this, the fuck is wrong with you? Have nothing better to do than to bully innocent people?” Hiyori’s English is perfect. Flawless even, I am still facing his body and pressing against his shoulder. He soon enough guides me out and I stick my tongue out at the woman whose wrinkly face is stunned. I think everyone in the cafe was. I’m happy to be out of the place that had judgemental eyes.

“Hiyori, that was funny,” I sniffle. Feeling better than Hiyori defended me.

“Just as I say I wanna be a good person I go and do that because I got angry.”

“No, you just defended me. You had a reason,” I say, “Ugh, I’m cold I regret the tights.” I pout.

“I can’t help you there but do you want my scarf and gloves,” Hiyori looks over to me.

“I’d love that but I don’t wanna make you cold,”

“I can be cold, I’m fine here,” He stops and takes his scarf off to wrap around my neck, even covering my ears. He hands me one glove and tells me he’ll hold my hand to keep it warm. I smile, put the glove on my right hand and clutch his hand. His hand is very warm, mine is cold. 

“Thank you,” I say muffled behind the scarf, I’m sure my lipgloss is on it, oh well, who cares what I look like now. We walk like this for a few minutes until we finally reach his car.

✖⛧✖⛧✖

“Lemme fix my make-up,” Ikuya says as he pulls my scarf down a bit. His makeup did mess up a bit from his tears, he still looks good though, honestly. He looks good no matter what.

“Okay, take your time, I have to warm the car up still,” 3:32 pm, I take a deep breath. I watch as Ikuya fixes his make-up in my passenger sun visor. I smile and watch as he does it, he slowly turns his head after about 2 minutes of me admiring him.

“What?”

“Nothing, I just think you’re stunning,” I say with absolute confidence.

“Shut up,” He puts his make-up stuff away in a bag. I laugh at his stubborn embarrassment. He’s truly adorable.

“I’m not lying, can I drive now, put your seatbelt on. You have to be safe,” I wink at him

“I wanna die, don’t tempt me,” He winks as he puts on his seatbelt back as I am backing up. I stop suddenly, “What?”

“Ikuya.”

“What?”

“Do you realize what you said?”

“What?”

“Ikuya...” I’m concerned about him. He just got harassed by some old bitch in a bathroom when he was minding his business and now he’s making suicidal jokes? I know he uses dark humor to cope, I do too. We have that in common but… the timing right after that event… I’m seriously concerned for him, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah kinda,” Ikuya admits, is it the truth though? I mean he said kinda, hinting that he’s not fully okay, “I guess I’m still upset about what happened,” Bingo. Knew it!

“How can I make you happy?” I ask.

“Where are we going next?”

“Are you changing the subject or will us going to the next destination make you forget that bitch?”

“I wanna know because it might get my mind off of it, yeah.”

“You’ll see!”

“Hiyori!”

I back up rather fast and drive away. Our next stop is the aquarium which I remember Ikuya told me he likes sea animals once. It was in random conversation, though squirrels are his favorite animal. I remembered that, and it’s perfect because we have many squirrels in my town! I have a really good memory. I remember so much about him. From little things about his past, to his favorite foods, his order from my shop, his favorite book growing up, his birthdate and time, his favorite colors and much... much more. Learning things about him has become my favorite hobby!

“You’ll love it, trust me!” I laugh because my plan is perfect, “I brought my camera too, this is why I wanted you to look pretty,” His eyes widened and his expression was brighter than the summer sun. I’m happy I looked at him to see it. I decided to pay attention to the road though.

“Sit back okay, relax,” I say softly.

“Okay...” His voice was almost inaudible. He is so precious.

~✖⛧♡⛧✖~

We get to the aquarium at 4:43 pm, basically night time. I'm shocked this is what Hiyori had in mind. It’s a nice aquarium by the looks of it and when we enter I’m stunned. It’s one that goes over your head. I am giddy, I hop a bit in excitement and Hiyori laughs at me. “This is great!!” I’m very happy, but I settled down. I haven’t been to an aquarium in years, and never one like this.

Soon enough, we head further in after paying a little fee. I’m stunned at the beauty surrounding me.

“I love this, you really get me, Hiyori,” I smile at him, the most genuine I can make. I think my happiness conveys to him.

“I remember everything you tell me,” He laughs.

“What’s my favorite animal?”

“Squirrels.”

“What’s my birth time?”

“Exactly 6:30 in the morning. What was mine?”

“9:41 at night...” I say and it causes him to laugh.

“You forgot your phone in my cafe and couldn’t remember where it was for the life of you but you can remember what time I was born in passing conversation? That’s dedication!”

“No, I’m just really good at numbers,” I say, honestly, “Almost drowning caused me to have like… memory problems but numbers are so easy, dates and times are included in this, I’m really good at speed math, hit me!”

“Uh, Okay, square root of... 458?”

“21.4” I say almost immediately. He stops and stutters and is utterly shocked. It’s funny.

“Holy shit I thought you were bluffing, uh, what about 376 times 492,”

Ohh, I take a couple of seconds but I get the answer, “184,992,”

“Is that even right?” He asks, nervous.

“Check!”

“I can’t remember the two numbers I gave you,”

“Open your calculator, it was 376 times 492,”

He puts it in and I say the answer again and he almost loses his mind.

“Haha! Told you,”

“Sorry for doubting you,” He says but I get it, I don’t look like a math nerd but I am. Ha! I’m not really offended. I don’t think Hiyori thinks I’m dumb but clearly math doesn’t seem like it’d be my best subject. I agree with that, Hiyori looks like the type to be good at math but maybe not?

“What are you good at? You’re so nerdy, you’re good at multiple things then right?”

“Japanese, English, Literature in general, and random subjects in general, though I am good at math clearly you’re better at it than I am,” He says.

“Look!!” I point at a cute shark, “I love him!”

“You have no attention span at all.”

“Blame the fact I almost drowned in middle school for that.”

I only mention my drowning in passing to Hiyori, never tell him the events leading up to it or the events that followed. I told him ‘maybe I’ll tell him later’. He respects that. I love that he respects my boundaries. I have literally no physical boundaries, I love being touched… well… by him. But he knows that he’s too shy to do really anything too sexual. That’s his fault. I’m up for it even if I’m shy too, I wouldn’t stop him. I’m just a horny idiot. Nonetheless, I enjoy what we have right now.

“Hey, can I take your picture, this lighting suits you,” Hiyori starts to take off the scarf he gave me, “Gimme your coat and glove.”

“A singular glove,” I say with utter sass.

“Yes, because you have only one on,” He sounds annoyed I think but I don’t care. It’s funny.

“I know, I just think it’s funny,” I laugh.

He laughs too, maybe he’s not annoyed. His tone is so weird. I guess maybe this is another reason I love him so much, he’s so fucking sassy and unafraid to speak.

Love? Did I just use that word so casually? Oh, god!

I’m gonna pretend I didn’t just think the word love casually… 

While he’s taking pictures of me I can’t help but still repeat that word in my head. How could I use it so casually like that? At least he can’t read my mind. 

“You okay?”

Oh, no he can fucking read my mind!!

“Yeah. why?” I’m nervous and just awkwardly stop doing things with my hands. I flop my arms to my side.

“Your facial expressions seem forced?” He says, do they?

“Sorry, I just, I have a lot on my mind,” I’m not gonna lie to him, he clearly knows something is up and I see no point in hiding my emotions at all anymore. We have aired a lot of our dirty laundry to each other over the time we’ve known each other. Of course, especially as of late.

“What kinda things?” He holds the camera facing down and looks at me.

“Weird things my mind says and how my mind words things, it’s nothing like bad I’m just being an idiot,” I wave my hands, it’s really not something to be concerned about.

“You’re not an idiot for having thoughts and feelings, Ikuya.”

“I mean...”

“Those are normal and every human has them, hell, even animals do.”

“Humans are animals.”

“You got me there.”

We both laugh… I tell him it’s fine and we can talk about it later since it’s nothing to be concerned about, honestly. He believed me and I went back to posing.

After he takes photos of me we walk around the aquarium. It’s peaceful to see marine life, I point to animals and tell him about the ones I know. I guess maybe I’m also good at this. He knows some things too. I love this… and I think I love him? Why am I embarrassed by that thought? I don’t know… Hiyori… I think I love you but I won’t tell you just yet.


	13. Glow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ✖⛧✖⛧✖ - Point of View switch!  
> ~•⛧♡⛧•~ - Time Change only, same POV as before!  
> ~✖⛧♡⛧✖~ - Both POV and Time Change!  
> (Hiyori gets a fucking makeover and he's pretty as fuck!!! Also, Ikuya is a FUCKING PERVERT!!!)

We stayed at the aquarium for a while longer, and as I drive us home, Ikuya falls asleep and it was so adorable. He was so exhausted. I’m very happy that bitch from the cafe didn’t ruin our date. Ikuya is leaning his head on the window and I’m trying not to jerk the car to accidentally wake him or anything. I also turned his music down to not wake him. Half the songs are slow and quiet others are loud. I don’t want the loud songs to accidentally wake him. God, he’s so pretty when he sleeps. I have to try my hardest to not look at him and his adorableness.

Once we arrive home I am exhausted as well. I lightly shake Ikuya awake.

“Good morning beautiful,” I say with a smile.

Ikuya scowls at me, ”It’s night,” How adorable. Stubborn, pretty, air-headed, and sassy. He is very much my type!

“I know,” I take off my seat belt and I can tell Ikuya is cranky from the small uncomfortable nap.

“When we get in you better hold me till I fall asleep. I’m so cold!”

“Of course, babe,” I say as I shut my car door. He gets out as well. We make our way in and up the stairs, then we make it in the apartment.

Lucky greets us kindly, Kisumi left a note saying he fed her at 5:40 pm. We give her just a little because we feel bad for leaving her be. I clean her litter and refill her water. Since we had a long day, Ikuya and I decided falling asleep will be best. We can shower and everything tomorrow in the morning. As soon as we hit the bed we pass out.

Tomorrow is our last day of disconnecting.

~✖⛧♡⛧✖~

It’s just after 6 am and I wake up absolutely hungry and sweaty. I’m still in my sweater dress, tights and socks. Hiyori is half on top of me and on top of him is the comforter. When I said I was cold he made sure I was warm. I think I have the best boyfriend in the universe. Hiyori told me he works so I shake him alive. “Hiyori you work in like,” I look at the clock to the left and sigh, “44 minutes.”

“Oh!” He jolts up, “Sorry! Oh my god!”

“It’s okay get ready, you don’t have time to shower but at least grab a snack and brush your teeth, you can shower after your shift, It’s only 4 hours right?” I ask… he nods.

“I have fun for us when you’re done,” I smile and sit up, I kiss his cheek and he just sits next to me for a second silently looking at me. Well as if he can see me, he’s basically blind. He told me the reason he needs glasses is because he read in the dark as a kid. Poor baby accidentally fucked his eyes up. He’s precious.

“Okay,” is all he could manage to say with a face flushed redder than a beat. He hops out of bed really fast and starts to get ready. 

I decide to take my shower now. Hiyori has a hamper in his closet actually so I put all of my clothes in it. He barges in when I’m in my underwear. We stare at each other, I stare at his face he kinda just looks me up and down. I’m completely embarrassed but I just laugh and apologize. He apologizes as well and closes his eyes and even hides his face. Remember when I said he was redder than a beat when I kissed his cheek? Yeah, he’s redder than even that right now.

“You need clothes out of here don’t you?”

“Y-Yes!”

I look in his closet and I know Hiyori is staring at the bottom half of my body that’s sticking out of the closet, I don’t mind. If he likes what he sees it’s whatever. We’ve sent worse pictures of ourselves before, it’s fine. I grab a nice mustard color sweater and a dark pair of what looks like fitted denim jeans. Hot.

I caught him, he was deadass staring at me, good! Let him, “Here.”

“Thanks,” He shifts his eyes to the side of his room where his bed is, “I’ve never worn jeans to work but I’ll make due.”

“I think this’ll look hot so yeah, go on,” I wink at him and he just walks away like a zombie. What a fucking virgin.

Soon enough, he’s out of the room and in the washroom. Did he decide to change in there? Did he know I was about to shower as well? I decide to peek in and I watch as he changes. I know what I am doing is wrong and bad but I can’t help it. I watch as he undresses completely and then redresses. Honestly, I have to admit. He has an amazing body. I don’t get why he’s so insecure, but I guess comparing yourself to others will do that, huh?

I back away as if I wasn’t watching.

“Oh, you scared me,” Hiyori jumps at the sight of me.

“Yeah, sorry.” 

“You need anything before I go I still have to eat and brush my teeth, I can only have a small snack for breakfast.”

“No, I just,” I can’t find words to say. Like I just was staring at his changing in the bathroom like a horny pervert. Oops? How do I say that politely?

“How about you go back to sleep,” He ruffles my hair. His expression is soft, “You have things planned for us later right? I get off at 11, so we will have a whole day to do things. Get your beauty sleep, babe. Not that you can get any more beautiful.”

He heads to the kitchen and I hear Lucky’s bowl also being filled. I decide to head back to bed. I don’t wanna wear clothes. I’m too lazy to put anything on.

~•⛧♡⛧•~

I wake up more tired than before, beauty sleep my ass. He meant well, though. Honestly, Hiyori is a fixer. A motherly type who would do anything to defend and protect me. He’s my damn white knight. He pours his heart into making me happy.

I hear the door and meows from Lucky girl. 

“I’m home,” Hiyori calls out to me, he slowly makes his way to the room and I look at the clock, 11:11.

“Welcome back,” is all I could muster, I’m sleepy.

“You look like a sleepy gremlin,” He laughs at me.

“Shut it.”

“I mean it in the most endearing way, though,” He pushes me a little playfully.

“I know, you better take a shower, I have things planned,” I say and he nods. I already spoiled my plans to him, I don’t care. I’ve never played dress up like this before it’s gonna be very fun. After a few minutes, I hear his water run and so I start getting dressed. I only put on simple clothes for now, kinda revealing clothes… Summer clothes actually, I’ll give him something to look at. I also decide on a few outfits that will fit him for sure. This is gonna be so fun! I decide what make-up to use too and what accessories would be nice on him.

After I hear the water stop I immediately spring out of the room, I open the door, not looking in this time, “Just dry off and come in in your underwear.”

“Why?” His voice is appalled and startled.

“Because you’ll be in my clothes soon enough,” I smile from behind the door despite the fact he cannot see me.

“I guess that’s a fair point.” 

“And I wanna do your make-up when you’re half-naked.”

“Ikuya, you pervert,” I can hear his half-hearted laugh of defeat. He has no idea… 

“It’s only fair, babe,” I’ve seen every inch of his body now in real life, well, he doesn’t know that. God, I’m sorry for snooping on you, Hiyori. It was rather rude and creepy of me. He’s sent me tasteful images of himself naked and I have sent them back but there is something… different about a beautiful naked man in front of you? If I told him about it would he be mad, even if I enjoyed seeing his entire body in the flesh with my two eyes?

Soon enough, Hiyori comes out in his underwear completely flushed, I assume it’s not the hot shower water that caused it. I laugh as he walks in out of sheer enjoyment, “Shut up,” He tries to cover himself.

“You really do have a great body,” I try to settle down, my heart is racing, “Come, sit down I wanna start your make-up, you’re only slightly darker than me, I hope I can do this right then.”

He sits next to me on his bed, I have my make-up next to me. I picked some good colors that will work with his skin and still look good with the clothes I pulled aside.

I start applying his make-up. I stick my tongue out in concentration. This is very fun, I talk about why I got into fashion and make-up. He’s very supportive of me. All the basics, foundation, bronzer, highlights and blush, eye shadow… after eye shadow… I do eyeliner.

“I trust you with this,” He says as I had told him I was gonna apply eyeliner.

“Shh, babe, the stiller you are the easier, I have a steady hand, trust me,” I do for the most part. The only time I struggle to be still is during my manic phases. I’m fine now though. I start applying and he’s surprisingly taking it well, he mentions it’s annoying and it feels weird. When I’m about to finish I warn him not to just blink willy nilly.

“You may blink,” He starts to blink. I didn’t wanna risk him accidentally ruining it by blinking too hard. I did the waterline as well as wings.

“This is fun.”

“I probably look fucking ridiculous.”

“Ridiculously adorable and pretty!”

“If you say I am then it must be true,” Hiyori’s voice is full of silk.

“Exactly,” I keep doing his make-up.

“No one is more beautiful than you are,” He smiles at me while I’m holding the back of his neck.

“Thanks, Hiyori.”

He accepts my compliment… I’ll accept his. From now on this is how it has to be. We’re gonna go back to social media tomorrow. It’ll be nice, scary, and overwhelming.

After I’m done I show him, he just laughs hysterically and I feel bad. Does he think he looks bad? I think he looks pretty!

“Is it bad?” I ask, insecure as hell.

“No, but I’m not used to it!”

“Oh,” I fiddle my hands a bit, “Stop laughing before you start crying and ruining the look and we’ll have to start all over.”

That shuts him up, “Sorry.”

“I have a few outfits for you, I wanna know what looks best,” I show him my biggest clothes that I’m pretty damn positive will fit him. A sweater I wore the other day that’s light pink, and two black shirts, one an oversized short sleeve velvet one and the other is just regular cotton but it’s cropped. He gulps. “These are the tops and I have two bottoms I think will fit,” I show him those. He’s nervous. I can tell.

“Do I just,” He takes the black velvet top, I knew he’d take that one first, it’s less… show-offy?

“You have to make sure the make-up doesn’t touch the shirt, just be mindful,” I set the two bottoms down next to him as well. I watch as he struggles to put it on. How cute. He is so inexperienced.

“Here,” I hold the head hole a little bit to help him get through it easier, it was easy. He’s such a pussy.

“Thanks,” He says and puts the rest of the shirt on with ease, I melt. He looks so cute in my shirt, that yes, does fit him rather well. But he’s also in his underwear, which I have to admit, is a good look on him. Black shirt with gray boxer briefs. Ten outta ten!

“You look hot like this, maybe you won’t need pants,” I say flirtatiously looking at what he’s packing. He notices where I’m staring and covers and cowers.

“Be quiet,” There’s remnants of laughter in his voice.

“Can’t help but look at what you’re packing. I have seen you look me down too,” I tease back, he stutters so incoherently it’s adorable.

We continue to tease and play dress-up! All the outfits look absolutely adorable!


	14. Catch Yourself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ✖⛧✖⛧✖ - Point of View switch!  
> ~•⛧♡⛧•~ - Time Change only, same POV as before!  
> ~✖⛧♡⛧✖~ - Both POV and Time Change!  
> (uh oh, the virgins are BOTH stupid! ♥ Also, the art is mine! Yes... that person with Ikuya looks... very much like Sage!! For most of the drawing some random creepy old man watched me draw it in the cafe. BTW I WROTE 90% OF THIS IN THE CAFE IN THE EARLY HOURS OF THE MORNING! SO PLEASE FORGIVE ME I'M ALSO MANIC THE ENTIRE TIME TOO!)

Finally, they made it. It’s the day Ikuya gets his passwords from his brother and Nao. He hurries as soon as he wakes to text them.

Mama Nao💙  
  
**Today** 7:15 AM  
hey nao!! can you give me my passwords, i trust you more than natsu-nii to get it right! i dunno if you’re sleeping, sorry if you are and i disturbed you.💜   


Mama Nao💙  
  
**Today** 7:15 AM  
hey nao!! can you give me my passwords, i trust you more than natsu-nii to get it right! i dunno if you’re sleeping, sorry if you are and i disturbed you.💜   
Good morning Ikuya! I haven’t heard much from you, I hope you’re well! Tell me what you’ve been up to?  


Mama Nao💙  
  
Good morning Ikuya! I haven’t heard much from you, I hope you’re well! Tell me what you’ve been up to?  
me and hiyori go on dates and stuff. he even took me to a cat cafe and we got a cat, her name is lucky. can i have my passwords please?  


Mama Nao💙  
  
Good morning Ikuya! I haven’t heard much from you, I hope you’re well! Tell me what you’ve been up to?  
me and hiyori go on dates and stuff. he even took me to a cat cafe and we got a cat, her name is lucky. can i have my passwords please?  
You’re in such a hurry to go back? Not even going to ask what I have been up to? Or your brother? Kinda hurt but I understand.  


Mama Nao💙  
  
me and hiyori go on dates and stuff. he even took me to a cat cafe and we got a cat, her name is lucky. can i have my passwords please?  
You’re in such a hurry to go back? Not even going to ask what I have been up to? Or your brother? Kinda hurt but I understand.  
i’m sorry if i came off selfish, i really am, how have you been? i’m sorry.  


Mama Nao💙  
  
You’re in such a hurry to go back? Not even going to ask what I have been up to? Or your brother? Kinda hurt but I understand.  
i’m sorry if i came off selfish, i really am, how have you been? i’m sorry.  
You don’t have to be sorry. You’re still young and I understand why you’re impatient. I’m not mad, just wondering if you care to know about us. We miss you so very much, Ikuya.  


Mama Nao💙  
  
i’m sorry if i came off selfish, i really am, how have you been? i’m sorry.  
You don’t have to be sorry. You’re still young and I understand why you’re impatient. I’m not mad, just wondering if you care to know about us. We miss you so very much, Ikuya.  
i missed you as well, what have you both been up to. how is the new place?  


Mama Nao💙  
  
You don’t have to be sorry. You’re still young and I understand why you’re impatient. I’m not mad, just wondering if you care to know about us. We miss you so very much, Ikuya.  
i missed you as well, what have you both been up to. how is the new place?  
It’s great and we wish you were here with us to have fun. But it seems Hiyori is taking great care of you. Your password for Instagram is: Ikuya, you are loved...  


I tilt my head. What kinda password is that? 

Mama Nao💙  
  
i missed you as well, what have you both been up to. how is the new place?  
It’s great and we wish you were here with us to have fun. But it seems Hiyori is taking great care of you. Your password for Instagram is: Ikuya, you are loved...  
Twitter’s is: And you are kind and amazing...  


??? 

Mama Nao💙  
  
It’s great and we wish you were here with us to have fun. But it seems Hiyori is taking great care of you. Your password for Instagram is: Ikuya, you are loved...  
Twitter’s is: And you are kind and amazing...  
you… made my passwords a sentence of love? i dunno what to say… thank you.  


I’m confused and shocked. I’m also crying. Why did he do this? That's too cheesy! 

Mama Nao💙  
  
Twitter’s is: And you are kind and amazing...  
you… made my passwords a sentence of love? i dunno what to say… thank you.  
It’s because we love you, it’s word for word after the colon. Good luck and again, if anyone is mean to you online, it means they’re jealous.  


I understand that now… thank you so much, Nao.

✖⛧✖⛧✖

Ikuya re-downloads the apps and logs into his accounts to see nothing really changed about anything. He notices his bios just had ‘Semi-Hiatus’ written at the end. He smiles, he’s happy he can be on his socials. He doesn’t wanna change the passwords, he feels the sentiment will be more meaningful if he keeps them. 

Hiyori this entire time has been making breakfast, he comes in.

“Good morning, gorgeous, did you get your passwords?” He asks setting two plates on the low wooden table in the middle of his room.

“Yeah, Nao told me,” He smiles and shows his phone screen.

“He told me that it was gonna make you smile, that’s all I knew,” The taller man sits down on the floor Ikuya scoots off the bed to join him in eating on the floor, “What’s your first post gonna be?” 

Ikuya ponders for a second, “Maybe one of the pictures of me holding Lucky. Some of them have Sage in it.”

Hiyori nods, “Yeah those are nice.”

“Oh, what about the aquarium one.” 

Hiyori nods, “That would be good too.”

“No! My first post back will be us with make-up on!”

Hiyori panics and snatches his phone suddenly, “Nope, we’re disconnecting again,” He goes to his photos. He’s upset and scared beyond belief.

“No, don’t look at my photos! Don’t erase anything!” Ikuya exclaims in panic. He reaches for his phone in Hiyori’s hands, Hiyori just wants to delete the pics of his ‘dress-up’. He finds it but he realizes Ikuya’s feelings are more important. There wasn’t really anything wrong about his photo album but Ikuya started to cry and it concerned him, so he hands the phone back.

“Sorry, I just wanted to delete the ones of me wearing make-up. I’m not comfortable with them being put online.” 

“Then just say no?” Ikuya’s tears fall from his eyes down his cheeks rapidly. His voice is devastated.

Hiyori hurt Ikuya’s feelings and he feels like absolute shit, he’s right, he could just tell him not to post it, “Sorry.”

“Even if I don’t post it, it’s a memory that’s precious to me!” He’s starting to raise his voice at him… 

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t touch my phone to delete anything! I care about my memories and I treasure them, I look back on my photos often and smile! Don’t take away my happiness!” His tone is absolutely brutal and Hiyori watches Ikuya’s rant in utter regret. He’s beyond sorry for grabbing his phone so suddenly.

“I won’t do it again, please stop yelling,” Hiyori’s voice is soft, he wants to calm Ikuya down. He understands what Ikuya is talking about, though. It’s like burning a photograph in front of someone who was in it. It was wrong of him to do it and he regrets it.

“How do I know that? You even know my phone code!”

“You told me it and it’s literally your birthday.”

Ikuya falls into Hiyori embrace, physical touch is what makes Ikuya happy. Hiyori knows Ikuya loves physical contact and that it soothes him. This is still the case even though he is angry at Hiyori, “I’m sorry for yelling,” Ikuya sobs into Hiyori’s chest. Their food is getting cold, but they don’t care.

“It’s fine, you had a right to be upset. I guess I didn’t think rationally and acted on the panic of people judging me if you posted it.”

“All you have to say is, ‘Don’t post this picture I don’t like it or I don’t feel comfortable with people seeing it.’” Ikuya says, muffled as he is still being embraced by Hiyori.

“I understand that now, I wasn’t thinking about your feelings and I am so sorry,” Hiyori tightens his grip, “It was selfish and I regret it. I never wanna hurt you.”

“I forgive you but, please communicate instead of just snatching things from me next time,” Ikuya sniffles.

“Of course.” Hiyori kisses the top of his head, “Let’s eat our breakfast, it’s getting cold.”

~✖⛧♡⛧✖~

sad.mess **55,555** likes  
**sad.mess** while on my hiatus i got a cute kitty! her name is lucky! @softmoths thank you for helping us adopt her! lucky, hiyori, and i miss you! View all 505 comments December 14, 2013

I am happy that’s my first post. Hiyori isn’t in it, just mentioned. I feel bad for upsetting him earlier. I overreacted as well… We’re both idiots in this situation. Sorry, Hiyori.

Relief, at last, 10 days of kinda torture but not? I have a really hot boyfriend, who is dumber than I thought. I have my social media back and I’m gaining confidence… I just miss Nao and Natsu-nii a lot, I hate to admit it.

“You okay, babe?” Hiyori says rubbing my back. Both of us are calmer now. I think it’s still too awkward to talk about our little petty fight.

“Yeah,” I sigh. I’m calm but my sigh sounded like a sob?

“You need anything, I really wanna make it up to you.”

“Cuddle with me,” I demand.

“Okay, come up on the bed,” He says, he sits on the bed and I hop in with him. I need to physically relax too. I allow him to take ahold of me. He basically wraps his entire body around me, as if he’s protecting me from something evil.

“What I did was selfish and I’m thankful I didn’t actually delete the photo, I don’t want it posted anywhere though.”

“I dunno if I wanna talk about this right now but I really appreciate you seeing things from my perspective, I will not post it,” I say, sort of robotically.

“Okay, I won’t push it any further.”

“Thanks.”

He’s so sweet and considerate… Well, when he’s not brain dead. I have my moments too. We’re both dumb in different ways.


	15. A message from Ikuya and Hiyori to you~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end! Thank you so much, allow the boys to talk to you and guide you and update you! This is similar to a diary entry, so I didn't really edit it much and there are probably errors! (And errors throughout the fic HAHA!)

I learned so many valuable lessons and things while disconnecting. For one, I learned it can help your self-esteem. You can’t read negative comments or hate if you back away. You can’t see the bad things people do or say to each other either.

Social media isn’t real life. The internet isn’t reality. Despite the fact we are addicted to this shit we can’t say it’s ‘our life’.

People put on different personas online. Actually they do it to different people in real life too! I’ve been able to see the things Hiyori posts and how he interacts with strangers. He makes it seem like he’s full of confidence but I’ve seen his true self. He’s scared, insecure, and fragile. His ego online doesn’t match who he really is. I love that he’s kinda sensitive in real life and that he feels comfortable talking about his feelings with me. I understand him and he understands me. He told me I’m the first person he’s really ever opened up and cried to. I’m honored.

My online persona is kinda similar to the one I show Hiyori, Natsu-nii, and Nao. I’m vulnerable as hell and I don’t hide it. To strangers, I’m all happy because I plaster a fake smile on my face to hide my pain. I add flair to my online persona though through my interests, especially music. 

I really wanna fully disconnect one day, but today I’m happy having Hiyori and my social media accounts. Natsu-nii and Nao still travel around and we text, facetime, and call each other all the time. Hiyori still owns his bakery cafe, and sometimes I help out. He hates when I help but I insist. I’m technically not employed, he returns the assistance with love, cuddling, and gifts. I only clean things, he knows I love to clean.

I made friends with Kisumi, too. He’s nice but he’s very… vocal and opinionated.

I still talk to Sage, I really adore everything about her. Sage’s style, art, passions, and more! I wish I can go down and see her again! Sage is also a Taurus, I love Taureans, I’m not just saying that because I’m a Taurus moon either!

Lucky is doing great, she’s got an Instagram that is thriving. She’s super sassy and cute. Hiyori and I spoil her to hell and back!

I guess my final thoughts would be… just do things that will better your mind even if you’re scared?

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫*.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

I’m very happy to have experienced the disconnection of social media with Ikuya. I guess I’m happy to have met Ikuya in the first place as well. I’m thankful for our time together back then and I’m thankful for our time together now. I look forward to what the future holds for us both. Oh, of course, Lucky as well! The three of us make a great family.

Ikuya and I talked about so many things when we left social media. We got to know each other very well. I believe we’re very compatible. One night we even named a bunch of things we liked about one another. That was definitely good for our self-esteem, honestly. Nothing like giving compliments to the most beautiful person ever and that beautiful person complimenting you back. It’s nice!

I really don’t believe in ‘you have to love yourself before you can love someone else’. It’s fucking bullshit! I fell for Ikuya and I hated myself. I look at Ikuya, and I forget how much I hated myself. My self-esteem still has so much work to do but it’s come a long way I guess. My self-hate has gone down, I’m not really repulsed by myself in the mirror anymore. I guess there’s something about someone loving me for me that really lifts me up?

I don’t feel the need to change me, I slowed my social media down. Ikuya told me he thinks the true me is very different from social media. He’s right. I’m rather confident and cocky online. I’m cocky in real life but it’s because I can get insecure. Because I hate myself and hate the way I look, I say rude things or get sassy with people. The biggest attitude problem, Ikuya has the same problem too.

I one day wanna disconnect longer or completely. The online world is very different from the real world. Ikuya and I talk about this sometimes.

Ikuya is so fun to talk to, he really is my savior. I needed him so badly. He’s honestly the best person I’ve ever met. He’s genuine, cute, funny, kind, and probably the best lover I could ask for.

So much has happened since our disconnection! Ikuya still gets hate comments. Nao, his brother, myself and actually Kisumi defend him. Nao, Natsuya, and I are pretty ruthless. Kisumi kinda just says, ‘no you’ or ‘shut up’ a lot. It’s funny, nevertheless!

I convinced Ikuya to talk to his old middle school friends more. Their names are Haruka, Makoto, and Asahi I believe. They seem nice, Ikuya is still hesitant about handing out his social media handle. I understand. Little at a time right?

Ikuya attempted to bake me a cake with Kisumi for my birthday. It was pretty good but the decorating was pretty rough. Ikuya did all of the decorating. For someone who apparently has never decorated a cake before. I guess I have to give him an eleven out of ten. Okay, maybe I’m biased.

He did his hardest and it was so sweet of him, I really am in love with him!

I spent the whole day with him on his birthday. We went to several places, it’s sad it was very cold on his birthday. Ikuya is the type to wanna go somewhere for certain occasions. I adore that about him, I’d rather be inside and read a book or something. I do enjoy going to places, do not get me wrong. I just love being inside and relaxing a lot.

Lucky’s Instagram is taking off really well and we’re so proud of our baby girl. She really deserves it! If we ever disconnect we gotta keep up with Lucky's Instagram. It’s absolutely hilarious. She’s so sassy and the things we make her say are pure gold!

If I have to close off my thoughts, I’d say I’m happier now. Whether it’s due or partially due to the disconnect is whatever. I’m still happy with the set of events that has happened… has happened!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any questions about anything please leave them in the comments. I have other points I never touched on that I can explain. Please be aware the entirety of this fic I have been on my manic phase. Haha! This fic made me realize, I really am not cut out for fan work. I appreciate this opportunity and may gain a spark again someday. All I know is I still have to finish Lonely Heart Club and Finish and publish all of Scab and Plaster!


End file.
